Annalie's Updates

God's faithfulness

2012-01-22T10:22:00.000-06:00

I hardly know where to begin. Were it not for God's faithfulness, where would we (I) be?

I would like to begin with a praise report. I had an MRI done Mon. I saw the radiation doctor Wed. He is amazed at how well I am doing. He did not give me a clean bill of health, which I was hoping for. BUT he said my tumor is VERY STABLE (he was VERY pleased), and they are going to discontinue my chemo for now. I have believed God for complete healing. I hoped it would be confirmed by the doctor, but that did not happen. I will consider this report a GOOD one, and continue to trust God to "complete that which He has started." It will be 4 years in Feb. since my first surgery. That is certainly better than the report I received in the beginning--6 mos. to 2 yrs. and I praise God!!

Most of my doctors have been reserved when I mentioned God's roll in my "treatment." I told Dr. Estopinol that I am thankful for good, competent doctors. But he knows, and I do too, that he cannot heal me. But I told him that I know someone who can. His response was, "Absolutely!" Thank Good for God fearing doctors too!

Our beautiful new baby girl, Hannah Elizabeth, is really changing. She will be staying with me when Brandy goes back to work in 2 weeks. I must say it is a little daunting to think about having a newborn again everyday! But I am looking forward to it. Her biggest problem so far is that she cannot stay awake long enough to take a full bottle, so she is waking up every hour or so to eat! Hope she will grow out of that in 2 weeks!!

Just when I thought my plate would not hold another thing--Gordon's mother was hospitalized. I had to remind myself that God promised He would not give us more that we can bear. I took her to the hospital on Sat. with severe abdominal pain and vomiting. She has been complaining for some time about her stomach. An earlier incident showed her pancreas inflamed and her gallbladder enlarged. This time they did surgery and took her gallbladder out, and kept her on IV fluid to let her pancreas rest. She was dismissed from the hospital yesterday, but had to go to rehab for a period of time--shorter than longer we hope. She is VERY unhappy about being there, so hope she will cooperate enough to get what she needs, and get out.

Gordon is improving some, but still heavily medicated. It seems he cannot function without the medicine, but when he takes it, he surely cannot function!! I wish so much that he would let God help him carry his load!

Thanks for your continued prayers and your words of encouragement, personal, cards, and comments. I truly cannot imagine how I would face another day without such caring, loving, friends and family! I praise God for YOU!!!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!

2011-12-24T21:44:00.001-06:00

Since I last blogged, we have been blessed with another addition to our family, a beautiful little girl. Hannah Elizabeth was born Dec. 20. Our little “6 lb. baby” turned out to be 8 lbs. 8 oz.!! She has dark hair and dark complexion like Todd. They came home Friday, but had to go back to the hospital today to stay under the bilyruebin light for awhile. We hope they will get to come home again tomorrow. Sarah is proud to be a big sister, BUT we will see how long that lasts when everyone gets home J.

Elesha’s incubation is going well. They are not going to find out if they are having a boy or girl this time. Reese is really growing. He is walking all over the place and beginning to chatter as well. We have enjoyed him so much. He has really been a cuddle bug. Gavin and Dakota are growing up too. They have been so good to help take care of Reese and to play with him. They really have a good time together. They are looking forward to another baby in the house.

Gordon continues to improve, although somedays, not much. He has a day or two that he feels pretty good, then a day or two that he feels really bad. I guess that is to be expected, but we are anxious for him to turn the corner permanently. In addition to the physical problems, he is carrying an extremely heavy emotional load as well. Please pray for him to learn to allow the Lord to help him carry his load.

Gordon's Mom is doing pretty well. She has some heart problems that seem to continue to deteriorate, but she is still able to get around pretty well. She has a boyfirend. His name is Chuck. He wears jeans and wide red suspenders. She says the suspenders are what attracted her to him. She says they are going to get married, but I have not heard that from him yet (:-) and I am not too sure how long that would last.

My youngest brother Phil has been diagnosed with diabetes. That has been a real shocker, as he has been so healthy all his life. Hopefully he can get it under control with diet and exercise. My Mom is having a really rough time with chest congestion. She has been under the care of doctors, but they have not been able to alleviate it. At her last appt., they changed her medication, but said the problem might be congestive heart failure. She of course is not happy to hear that. She has had a LONG, HEALTHY life and she has not accepted this very well. Please pray for God’s grace to enable her to do what she needs to do.

I am looking forward to another MRI in Jan. 16. I BELIEVE I will receive confirmation that I have been healed. To GOD be the GLORY.

Emily Barnes has written a poem I would like to share this Christmas Season.

‘Taws the Night before Jesus Came

Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the house
Not a creature was praying, not one in the house,
Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care
In hopes that Jesus would not come there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed,
Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.
And Mom in her rocker and baby on her lap
Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.

When out of the East there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray
I knew in a moment this must be THE DAY!

The light of His face made me cover my head.
It was Jesus! Returning just like He had said.
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth,
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.

In the Book of Life which He held in His hand,
Was written the name of every saved man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name;
When He said, “It’s not here,” my head hung in shame.

The people whose names had been written with love
He gathered to take to His Father above.
With those who were ready, He rose without a sound
While all the rest were left standing around.

I fell to my knees, but it was to late;
I had waited to long and thus sealed my fate.
I stood and cried as they rose out of sight;
Oh, if only I had been ready tonight.

In the words of this poem the meaning is clear;
The coming of Jesus is drawing near.
There’s only one life and, when comes the last call,
We’ll find that the Bible is true after all!

God’s truth is not changed by our belief, BUT our belief can and should be changed by God’s truth! May the true blessing of Christmas rest upon you and your family this year.

Gordon's Surgery

2011-11-18T16:52:00.001-06:00

Just letting everyone know how much we appreciate your prayers during Gordon's surgery. He is at home, recuperating. They fused all five discs this time, a very intensive surgery. Naturally, he has been in a lot of pain, but Dr. Seymour thinks this will help. He initially planned to make 2 incisions for the surgery, one at top, and one at bottom of neck. Praise the Lord, they only had to make one, but they moved a lot of stuff around and removed a lot of scar tissue, which has made it VERY DIFFICULT for him to swallow. Please pray for a speedy and COMPLETE recovery this time with no bumps in the road. We appreciate your care and concern.

Prayer request

2011-11-14T13:29:00.001-06:00

I would like to invoke your prayers on Gordon's behalf. He is going to have another surgery on his neck Wed. He has been in so much pain and on so much medication that he cannot function. When he is willing to go under the knife, I know it is BAD. Please lift him up in prayer, that this will take care of his problem. Please pray for Dr. Seymour that God will guide his hands and there will be no calamities, or surprises. AND please pray for speedy and complete recovery. While you are at it, I could use a little patience--no more tribulation please!!

Gordon's Mom is doing fairly well. She cannot get around very well. She has no stamina. But the funny thing is that she has a boyfriend (:-). His name is Chuck. He bought her two watches, which she is carried away with. He seems like a nice fella, but I think he has some heart issues. She says they are going to get married. I guess there are some things you never get too old for!!

We are preparing for the arrival of Todd & Brandy's baby, Hannah Elizabeth,--anytime after Thanksgiving. Brandy has been diagnosed with gestational diabetes, although on the low end. Please pray that all goes well, a healthy delivery and healthy baby, and that Brandy is delivered from this medical issue.

Elesha is incubating another one too. They have decided not to find out what they are having. She is busy with the kid's school (at home) and taking care of Reese, who is a real charmer. Hard to believe he will be a year old next month.

Both of my girls have been wonderful daughters-in-love. They have been good wives, mothers, and daughters. I could not ask for better. God has truly shown His favor on our family through them, AND their families.

I Believe

2011-11-03T08:20:00.001-05:00

I had an MRI and dr. appt. in October. I got a good report again, praise God!! Dr. Dang said the tumor is stable and wants to continue doing what we are doing. He is VERY pleased with my report, and I AM TOO!! But I believe I will have and even better report when I go again.

I BELIEVE I was healed this past Sunday at church. I am not a person to announce something unless I feel assurance that it is true. I cannot prove I have been healed, but if that is the case, who needs faith?

I have STRUGGLED, since I was diagnosed with this brain tumor. I know God is able to heal me. But I just couldn't believe it for myself. As some ladies were praying for me on Sunday, it was as if I could FEEL a sensation come over me that my condition was different. I believe when I go for my next MRI that healing will be confirmed. One of the ladies told me to GO and DO whatever I felt God was leading me to do. I will.

God's Word tells us to, "in everything give thanks". I have not been able to thank Him for this illness until recently. I know now, without this, I would have missed some very important lessons in my life. I can't say I have learned them, but I can say that I am not the same person now that I was before this tumor.

Believing for me has been a very difficult process. I think I understand what faith is. I could have faith for everyone else. I could believe in God, and Christ, but I could not believe that God would heal me.

A book by Watchman Nee called the Life that Wins helped me understand about believing. He writes,"What is faith? Faith is not mental apprehension. It is seeing the fact and proving it...We must positively, prove Christ by an act of faith--by believing. Is it not most wonderful that in one minute, nay, in one second, all the facts which Christ has accomplished can be proven and demonstrated in your life? Such is the substantiating by faith...The great failure of a Christian is unbelief. Believe, and the fact is proven. See with faith and the fact is substantiated in experience...All is well if we believe 2 Cor. 12:9 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.' or Lk. 18:27' Jesus replied, 'What is impossible with men is possible with God." By believing the 'I WILL' of the Lord Jesus, your problem is solved. Faith is not asking for what God has already promised. Faith is believing the promise of God."

Without going into detail I will just say that Mr. Nee says that"Faith is not hoping; Faith is not feeling; and that Unbelief is the greatest sin. The greatest problem among the children of God is the failure to believe His word."

I can attest to that. So many times we think of unbelief only in terms of rejecting salvation. But if we reject any truth set forth in God's Word it is unbelief, and it is sin. This truth has helped me understand that I MUST believe, and I do! My life depends upon it. So what do I have to loose? Nothing. It is not my reputation that is at stake, nor my word that must be apprehended.It is all in God's hands. If this should not be manefested, God is still God and He knows what he is doing. I have no hope but to believe.

I titled my last blog "A dark night." I BELIEVE I can say my night is no longer dark, PRAISE GOD!

A dark night

2011-10-03T07:16:00.001-05:00

If we have lived in this world, all of us have, or will, experience some dark nights. I have spent many dark nights, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am tired of dark nights, and David Jeremiah expounds on this Psalm as a remedy for them. I do truly wait for God's guidance.

In Psalm 71, "when David saw the worst life could dish out for him, he still remembered the character of God...He remembers God's glory, God's power & strength, God's faithfulness, and God's righteousness.

David understood there was one thing he must do when trials were swirling around his head, when his own children were not honoring him. He must never forget that God is righteous and good, that He is a God who can be trusted. Things may be bad, and they can always be worse, but God never changes. He is never any less in control. He never has a smaller portion of love for us, and His plan for us does not deviate in the tiniest detail. All else changes but God. As the poet said, He is the still point of the turning world. David knew that he must never allow these thoughts to leave his mind, so over and over again he spoke about the righteousness of God.

We're not dealing with naive, rosy sentiment, my friend. I've looked in the face of death, and you may have done the same. If you've made that dark journey, I've been there too, and I'm here to assure you that we have a God who is trustworthy. I may not fathom every twist and turn in my journey. Many things have happened for which I can't give a rational human explanation. I'm sure it's the same way for you. BUT I can lay it all at the feet of God and say with all my heart, 'I don't know the meaning, but He does. He knows what He is doing. Our God makes

NO MISTAKES!' "...

If there is any way for us to take matters into our own hands, we try. "But after awhile, we reach a new mind-set in which we push aside all the dreams and schemes and contrivances, and we fall on our knees to say, 'My Lord and my God, my hope is in YOU. All the rest is too much for my limited and distressed mind, and it amounts to little account anyway. I look to no one, and nothing, but You, and I await Your guidance."

From A bend in the road by David Jeremiah.

Better late than never

2011-09-13T14:45:00.001-05:00

I have not blogged for awhile. Don't really know why. Have had some opportunities, but just couldn't compose myself. I have been busy with my grandchildren PTL!!...And somehow grandchildren and blogging just don't go together:)

Since my last post, we have found out that Todd and Brandy are going to have another little girl. Initially, Todd was disappointed, because he wants a little boy so badly, but they are resigned to it, and pray that God will give them a healthy baby, whatever it is. Gordon and I have enjoyed our little girls, since we had none of our own before now. BUT our boys are precious too. Also, Elesha and Brant are expecting again. Too early to tell what they are having this time. My father-in-law said once, in surveying his family of grandchildren, "Just think. All of this started with just 2!!" That's sort of the way I feel. BUT I praise God that He has given me the stamina to continue to take care of them with some competent help from 2 young friends when I need them.

I continue to get good reports from the doctors, PRAISE THE LORD!! Have another MRI in Oct. My radiation dr. wanted set me up on 6 mos. schedule for MRI, but the chemo dr. is a little reluctant to do that. They both are exceptionally pleased with my progress so far. I feel pretty good, most days. The only symptoms I have are a little nausea from time to time, fatigue, and forgetfulness. I have to park my car in a handicapped spot so I can find it when I come out of a store. I took Gordon's mom to have a little skin surgery on her nose. She is supposed to go back for a check up, and I couldn't remember where we were supposed to go. I go grocery shopping and forget my list. I can NEVER find my cell phone. OH WELL!! life is what it is.

My mother celebrated her 90th birthday Aug. 24. We had a celebration for her at a nearby church. She was very reluctant to have us do it because she didn't want to "misput anyone". It was very informal. Probably about 150 people dropped by including her family of about 50! It was really nice to see a lot of people we have not seen in quite awhile, and we really appreciated those who took time to stop by. When we were planning this, we told Mom that people were invited, not summoned. I think she is really glad we did it. She is still reading cards she received that day.

I am so thankful for my family. I have told my Mom many times that I am glad I was born into her family instead of some others I know about. When you think about it, conception and birth are risky things. I don't mean to imply that it is not ordained of God, but that WE as individuals, have NO control over whose family we are born into. I have thanked God, though not enough, that I was born to my mom and dad. I have recently read a book by Randy Pausch, called The Last Lecture. He was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer and given 6 months to live. He gave a lecture to his college class which was published as a book. It is a wonderful chronicle of what is really important in life. He says he won the family lottery. When I read that I thought, "That's it!" I won the family lottery too! We have no control over who we are born to, but we do have the privilege of choosing what our outcome will be. I praise God that He allowed me to have a "head start," and through the prayers of parents and grandparents, set me on the right path from the beginning.

Gordon's Mom is doing pretty well. She is now in assisted living at Regency Village in Huntsville. It has been very difficult for her to give up her independence and she misses her "stuff", but in her more lucid moments she realizes she cannot live by herself anymore. I remind her often that, if I didn't have this brain tumor, she would still be in her condo and I would be taking care of her there. Her doctor encouraged her to go to assisted living as much for me as for her. She has fallen several times, so she just cannot stay by herself anymore. She is very unhappy with her quarters (very small). Not much room for her stuff. But she loves the fellowship she has with the other residents. She has nothing but good to say about the staff. We are thankful for that. She tells everyone that I have been her daughter-in-law for more than 40 years and we have never had a cross word---until now:) Really we haven't had words now, she just cannot always understand the circumstances. I have truly been blessed by her favor all these years. AND I have reaped the benefit of her hard work in raising a son with a kind heart, a good work ethic, and faithfulness to his family,

I am still reading, but no excerpt this time :)

Feeding the Birds

2011-07-24T20:38:00.000-05:00

I have for several years since retiring from school, enjoyed feeding the birds at my house. I have several feeders and so many birds that I have had to fill the feeders a couple of times a week during heavy feeding seasons. When I first started, I intended to just feed them through the winter. But when spring came I decided I would miss their happy little chirping too much to lay the feeding by. So I fed them through the summer. Then I fed them through the winter again. I went from a couple of feeders to four, then six. Then I fed them through the summer again. I have thoroughly enjoyed feeding them and watching them.

After my first surgery, I had some help keeping the feeders full. The girls who help me babysit my grandchildren helped me feed my birds too. BUT I am realizing that I just cannot maintain all this physically. So this week I took down my bird feeders.
I usually have coffee on my porch in the morning and watch the birds and listen to them. I have been on a coffee fast for a few weeks, so I have not spent as much time on the porch. Yesterday I went to the porch with a cup of coffee. As I was sitting there, I noticed that my yard was terribly silent. Then I realized that there were no birds chirping. I thought, "It surely didn't take long for those little critters to desert me!" Then I thought how much we are like them. We are eager to get something. We want to receive from the Master, but when the food gets scarce, we don't hang around. I am in no way implying that God doesn't feed us, but when times are difficult, we jump ship. It is difficult to trust God in the lean times, but He promises that if we will be faithful He will preserve us. He will bear us up on eagles' wings. He will not let our footsteps falter. I praise Him for His faithfulness in the difficult times. And I am so thankful I have a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (My brothers stick pretty close too!)

I had another MRI done last week. The doctor said he is VERY pleased with my progress. No sign of any growth in my tumor. I praise God for this and for good doctors who have administered competent care. I will take that until He sees fit to heal me completely!

Gordon continues to be plagued with back and neck pain, especially neck. He thinks his back is healing, but his neck continues to give him severe pain. The doctor wants to possibly do another surgery on his neck, a disc further down his spine than the first surgeries. He really does not want to go through another neck surgery, so please pray that God will somehow intervene and take this away.
Thanks for your continued prayers and support.

Mara (bitter) to pleasant (Naomi)

2011-06-13T11:30:00.001-05:00

I have struggled for several days maybe weeks, with some things that have caused me to be angry or resentful. I know the Bible has much to say about anger and resentment. It is amazing how just when you need it most, God provides a word. I have been reading the Women's devotional guide to the Bible by Jean E. Syswerda, a gift from a dear friend at church, who also rode motorcycles with us. I must admit I have not used it everyday, hence the opportunity for God to supply what I need when I need it most.

It is no happenstance that Satan uses the things closest to our heart to bring about attitudes that are not pleasing to God. He (Satan) does not care who or what he uses to separate us from God. That is what is happening to me at the present. It is not the other person(s) who is angry, resentful, or bitter. I know what God's word says about unforgiveness. I know what it does to my relationship to Him and to others, yet I sometimes feel like a doormat. I don't believe He expects us to lay down and accept whatever comes our way. Hence, "Be angry and sin not." Somehow I cannot quite figure out exactly what that means. I do more than anything want to be an instrument of His design, but somehow I feel like I keep being tripped up by these emotions, which are in no way Godly. I sometimes feel like Naomi (pleasant) who wanted to be called Mara (bitter). I think for most of my life I have been a positive person, but lately I have not been very pleasant. Please pray for me that I will see what God's purpose is in all this and that I will extend the kind of attitude that will be pleasing to Him.

When Naomi returned to Bethlehem "she could not see the blessing of her daughter-in-law or the compassion of old friends who greeted her eagerly when she returned form Moab. But God hadn't forgotten old Naomi-mara. He was getting ready to make some radical changes not only in her life but in her character."

Bitterness is brought about by unforgiveness. It comes from looking at the negative instead of life instead of the positive. Once when I was in college, I was talking with a friend about some things that were going on in her life. She said, "Do you just have to be Pollyanna ALL the time?" I am afraid I would not be accused of that at this point in my life.

When life throws darkness and disaster your way, God has the same plan in mind (as He had for Naomi). He isn't the author of your troubles, contrary to what Naomi asserted in Ruth 1:21. But He is eager to use them to upgrade your character. For the believer, all of life's events have purpose. God carefully orchestrates the good and the bad into a design that builds beauty and grace into a believer's character. (Rom 8:28) If the believer allows it and trusts God to do it, that is." PLEASE PRAY for me that I will be able to do this.

"If you respond with anger and bitterness toward life's circumstances, whatever they are, your name will always be Mara. You bitterness will twist your countenance, you relationships, and your personality into a caricature of what God intended you to be. If, however, you CHOOSE to look at life as God's classroom, one where He's teaching and molding you into His planned design for you, your countenance, you relationships, and your personality will be awe inspiring, a thing of grace and beauty."

I pray that my life WILL be a thing of grace and beauty instead of Mara!

Addendum to blog

2011-06-09T07:15:00.000-05:00

I must express the joy and delight that we are expecting another grandchild. Todd & Brandy are expecting sometime in Dec. we think. We are so happy for them, because they have waited for this for a long time. Please pray for a healthy pregnancy and delivery, and a healthy baby.

The Hardest Thing

2011-06-09T07:14:00.000-05:00

I have not blogged for awhile. I have been busy with the grandchildren. We had those terrible storms and our power was out for awhile. Then our computer had a virus. Then I haven't felt very good for a few weeks. How many more excuses do I need to give? I believe God has really been dealing with me about some things...may be part of my lack of motivation to blog.(:-)

I continue to get good reports from the doctors. They say the tumor is still there, but they are very positive about its not growing ANY. PTL! And for good doctors too!
I know the best medicine comes from the Holy Spirit. I continue to believe that God will heal me in His time. I have been reading a little book by Watchman Nee called Let Us Pray. He discusses the importance of effective prayer. That being that we pray according to God's will. He says that "prayer in sympathy with God (according to His will) is more vital than any other thing! For God can only work in matters for which His children have shown sympathy...Prayer with joined wills is real prayer. The highest motive of prayer is not in having it answered. It is to join man's will with God so that He may be able to work." This is where I want to be.
God's word admonishes us to give thanks in all things. I am not sure I am to that point yet. I her book From Moab to Bethlehem, Cynthia Shoemaker asks, "How often do we despise affliction and pain? Personally I'd say, EVERY TIME. Yet, it may be the very thing the Lord uses to glorify Himself in our lives and set us in a never-imagined place of honor. When we see the plan of God unfold and understand how that despised experience was used for good, I believe praise will fill our hearts in a place we never thought it could.

We are given breath each day so we can praise the King of Kings--even when we can't understand our painful circumstances--not to waste it on complaining."
About her experience she writes, "He (God) didn't deliver me in a dramatic healing event, but He began to unfold His will and His Word before my weak, trembling soul. He gave me a desire for His presence that reached far deeper than my desire for healing. He put a thirst for His Word in me that exceeded my thirst for physical strength. The Living Word became living and active in me, and I am forever hooked. And that's a reason for gratitude. That's an 'all things working for good' kind of deal, a momentary affliction working out an eternal weight of glory, a reason to join the Psalmist in saying, 'It was good that I was afflicted...'

Sometimes the hardest things turn out to be the best things."
I can without a doubt say this has been the hardest thing. But I'm not to "the best thing" yet! Thank you all for your continued prayers. Were it not for them I would have already fallen off the wagon!!

Collecting Things

2011-01-30T09:39:00.001-06:00

As you may well imagine, my life has been rather hectic recently, hence my lack of time for blogging.

I had an MRI done a few weeks ago. I was supposed to see my doctor on Mon. when it snowed. Needless to say, I didn't make it. I called to reschedule, but we were having difficulty making it work. So I told Becky just to make an appointment next month, unless Dr. Dang really wanted to see me. She pulled up my MRI on the computer and said it looked great. She scheduled an appointment and said she would call me back if Dr. Dang wanted to do anything different. I haven't heard a word. PTL!!!
Our little Resse is developing right along, although he is depriving his mom of more sleep than she would like. He is beginning to notice a few things. We are so thankful for a healthy, although a little fussy, bundle of joy!

Gordon continues to be plagued with pain in his back and neck. He does think it is getting better, just not as quickly as he would like. He spends most of his days holding down his recliner!

My mom is home. She had a checkup with her heart doctor last week. He thinks things are going well. She is on Coumadin, so has to have her blood checked, regularly.
We had to move Gordon's mom to assisted living at Regency. She cannot stay by herself because she is a serious fall risk. She is more and more confused about her surroundings and circumstances. It breaks my heart because she feels like I have just taken her there and dumped her and I don't really care what happens to her. I try to explain. She understands momentarily. Then she begins to talk about going back to her condo. I have packed up her things and moved her twice. Once from her condo to independent living at Regency. Then from independent living to assisted living. So I have had a lot of time to think about collecting "things."

Gordon's Mom has a lot of nice things, furniture, jewelry, furs, many lovely things to decorate with. And she loves them so much that they have nearly consumed her, because she does not have room for them now. She is so afraid something will happen to them and that they will not remain in "the family." I have tried to reassure her that I will, to the best of my ability, carry out her wishes, but somehow it just doesn't register. We have had such a good relationship over the years that it breaks my heart to see her so distraught with me.

After I was diagnosed with cancer I realized how much of that kind of "stuff" I have collected over the years. I cannot get it out of my house fast enough! I have thinned out a lot of mine but I still have way too much of mine, and everyone else's too! It has become a noose around my neck! If anyone comes by my house and says they like something, they will be going home with it!! So, if you come to see me, bring a U-HAUL!

God's Word admonishes us not to become too attached to things, but instead store up for ourselves Treasures in Heaven.
Matt. 6:19-23; Lk. 11:34-36
19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 22 "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! 24 "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

Getting rid of these "treasures" will not negate the fact that I have spent my lifetime trying to acquire them. It will not replace the resources I could have used to sew into God's kingdom. I beg His forgiveness for having spent my resources on things that "moth and rust" destroy. Not only that but I am leaving a monstrous task for my family to take care of when I am gone (which is no time soon, I hope) (:-).
Please take time to post something on my blog if you read it or if it has somehow touched your life. Sometimes I think I am being presumptuous in thinking people want to hear what I have to say.

Thanks for your continued prayers.

New Year Update

2011-01-03T11:55:00.002-06:00

Where do I start? So much has happened since I last blogged. First and most important is that we have a new addition to our family. Reese Alexander Maynard was born Dec. 18, weighing almost 8 lbs. He is a healthy baby for which we are VERY THANKFUL, and of course beautiful as the others have been.

Gordon continues to recover from his surgery, not as quickly as he would like. He has some pretty good days, and some that are not so good. I am not thoroughly convinced that all his difficulty is physical, as he is carrying an enormous emotional load as well.

Gordon's Mom had a light stroke in early December and is in rehab at Regency, the assisted living facility where she lives. We (I) have moved her things out of her condo in preparation to rent it for the time being. She is of course not happy about these changes, but it seems to be the best option under the circumstances. I feel badly for her, because she cannot really grasp the reason for all of this. She just wants to go back home. (:-(

My Mom went to the hospital Christmas Day (in all the snow, and they had plenty on the mountain where she lives) with pneumonia and congestive heart failure. She has had a problem with her heart for a few years now, and had a couple of other episodes with it. She finally came home yesterday. Seems to be doing much better.

I am again amazed at God's provision for our lives. We have been trying to rent Gordon's Mom's condo. It has probably been empty for 6 mos. Usually the property in her area is quickly snatched up. I was beginning to become frustrated that we had so few inquiries about her place. Last week I received and inquiry from an insurance company about a short term lease for her condo. I thought that I might as well take it since we seemed to be unsuccessful at anything else. So I met a lady there on Fri. to look at it.

I hope she will not mind me sharing her circumstances. She is a lovely lady, a Christian, who has really been through the ringer in the last year or so. She has lost 4 family members, her sister (who had a glioblastoma like me), mother, father and her ex-husband (she's been divorced 20 yrs.). On top of that her newly remodeled condo burned, because of a fire in the one next to her.
I really believe God was saving our condo for her. She is an amazing lady and I felt a bond of friendship the minute I met her. Her name is Pat. Please pray that God will undergird her with strength, give her wisdom about the direction she should take from here. She had looked at a condo in the Lily Flagg area before she bought the one she is in now. But it was 2-story and she wanted a 1-level. She was entertaining the idea of selling the condo she is in before the fire, so she really needs to know what direction to take.

We had a great Christmas. All the children and grandchildren were here. Everyone is relatively healthy, and it was wonderful to share it with a new member to our family. When Todd and Brandy came I asked their little girl, Sarah, if Santa Claus came to her house. She said "Yes! And he brought me some snow!" So I guess we know what she will be expecting again next year! Speaking of Todd and Brandy: Please pray for them. They would like to have another child so much, but so far that has not happened. In today's world, I have a difficult time praying for more children, but God knows the desire of their hearts. He also knows what is ahead of us. Pray that they will trust God in this circumstance and if another baby is part of his plan we will welcome it with open arms and open hearts.

I want to take this opportunity to thank God for two wonderful daughters-in-love. Brandy and Elesha have been wonderful additions to our family. They have loved and tolerated, if not accepted, us with all our warts, and we have a few. Their families have been friends, and they have accepted our sons as theirs. I praise God for their love, patience and long suffering (and they have suffered long some days!) They truly are assets to our family!

Last, but not least, I thank God for His love in the form of a babe who would grow to adulthood, so He could indeed experience our struggles and pain; and that He loves us enough to give the VERY BEST He has in sacrifice for our sins, and suffering for our healing. Let us not forget the true meaning of CHRISTmas!

Update on Gordon

2010-12-12T14:15:00.001-06:00

Update on Gordon. I guess you could say his surgery has been successful, at least so far. The Lord has been faithful to us. Gordon said this morning that he is glad he had the surgery. He is still in a lot of pain, but not the same kind he had before surgery. He is actually getting around pretty gingerly this morning. Still using his cane, but not moving as slowly as he has been. Thank you so much for your continued prayers. I know that has made a tremendous difference. Also we cannot sing the praises of the medical staff of Crestwood for such competent and compassionate care. They have all truly been a blessing to us and hands of God extended, even when they may not have recognized it themselves.

We are patiently awaiting the addition of another pity pat to our family. Elesha and Brant are expecting #3 any day now. Please pray for a safe healthy delivery and a healthy boy!! We are looking forward to the addition of 2 more feet to our family!

Home

2010-12-06T11:15:00.002-06:00

We are HOME (:-). There truly is no place like it. Gordon is mobile which is about all I can say. He is still in a LOT of pain, but drs. assure us it will get better. His appetite has not been very good, and he has been COLD!! Both of these VERY out of character for him. Thank you so much for your prayers. I am sure they have helped. Please continue that his recovery will be speedy and without further complications.

Gordon's surgery

2010-12-04T19:27:00.001-06:00

Just when you think nothing else can go wrong, something does!

Just a quick update on Gordon. He had his back surgery Wed. He is of course in a LOT of pain from the surgery. He said he is not sure he would do it again, but he was at a point where SOMETHING had to be done. He does think the problem has been corrected, because he does not have the pain and weakness in his legs that he had before his surgery. The procedure was very intensive and quite dangerous as it turned out. A vascular surgeon cut him open in the front of his abdomen, rearranged his organs so the ortho. dr. could work on his spine from the front. They put discs from the bone bank in and a steel plate to hold them together (5 vertebra). Then they put all his organs back in place (we hope), flipped him over and the orthopedic dr. went in from the back and put a plate in the back of his spine. They said it was a very risky surgery, so we are thankful that all seems to be going well. He sat up yesterday and today for a good while. Also took a short walk today.

About 8:00 Thursday night I got a call from the retirement village where Gordon's mom stays. She had fallen. Did not appear to be hurt from the fall but her legs were completely useless. We wound up taking her to the hospital (same one Gordon is in). I didn't get home until 5:00 am Friday morning. Her doctor is pretty sure she has had a stroke of some kind. All of this has made her VERY agitated and impatient, so please pray for those who are caring for her as well. She will probably be in the hospital through the weekend, then go to rehab for a few weeks.

Thanks so much for your prayers. Gordon has asked me several times during this procedure to PLEASE call anyone I know that will pray, so I am sure he sill appreciate your prayers too.

God is faithful. He has promised not to put more on us than we can bear. I believe His Word is truth and I depend on that, so I continue to trust Him through these perilous times, not just personally, but nationally and internationally. Blessings to you all.

Details

2010-11-22T13:44:00.001-06:00

I have not blogged in a while. Our plates have been pretty full. Brandy's Mom is at home, doing as well as can be expected. Her last bout in the hospital revealed a hietal hernia and diabetic pareses (?sp). Brandy had the stomach bug last week.

Gordon has had a bout with strep throat and Gavin has gone to the dr. today to get his throat checked. Had fever of 104. Gordon has also been in excruciating pain from his back, in his hips and down his legs. MRI revealed he has a disk pinching a nerve. He has more surgery scheduled for Dec. 1. His neck seems to be better. Don't know if it really is or just seems better because of the pain in his back!

Gordon's mom went to the hospital yesterday. She has congestive heart failure and had one of her "episodes". Her doctor is going to keep her a couple of days and monitor her medications. Hopefully she'll come home Wed.

On a more positive note: Brant and Elesha are expecting their little one the end of Dec. She is getting along well for the most part. If she can just keep everyone well!!

I have received GREAT reports from the doctors. I saw my radiation doctor this month whom I have not see in 6 mos. He was elated that I have done so well. No sign of recurrence in the tumor. I have been reduced to 1X mo. visits to my chemo doctor. I will praise the Lord that he has given me such competent doctors, and the medicine is working so well. I have no preference in how He heals me, just that He does. And if not, I trust that He has a purpose in that too. Whatever happens I know that He is intimately concerned with the details of my life; the subject of a devotional in Max Lucado's Study Bible.

"What matters to you matters to God." (I know this, but I need to be reminded of it from time to time.)
"You probably think that's true when it comes to the big stuff (death, disease, sin. disaster)...But what about the smaller things?..Grouchy bosses, flat tires, broken dishes, late flights...Do these matter to God?

He's got a universe to run, planets to keep balanced, presidents (I sure hope so!) and kings to watch over. He's got wars to worry with and famines to fix.

Who am I to tell Him about my ingrown toenail? I'm glad you asked. Let me tell you who you are. You are: an heir of God, eternal, have a crown, a holy priest, were chosen before creation. But more that any of these--more significant than any title or position--is the simple fact that you are God's child. 'The Father has loved us so much that we are called children of God. And we really are His children' (1 Jn. 3:1). I love that phrase! 'We really are his children.' It's as if John knew some of us would shake our heads and say, 'Naw, not me. Mother Teresa, maybe. Billy Graham, all right. But not me.' If those are your feelings, John added that phrase for you. 'We really are his children.'

As a result, if something is important to you, it's important to God. So go ahead. Tell God what hurts. Talk to him. He won't turn you away. He won't think it's silly. 'For our high priest is able to understand our weaknesses. When he lived on earth, he was tempted in every way that we are...(Heb. 4:15-16)'. Does God care about the little things in our lives? You better believe it. If it matters to you, it matters to him."

I am SO THANKFUL for a God who is Intimately concerned about my life. I cannot imagine facing the challenges of life without the promise of His care.

Thanks

2010-11-14T17:55:00.000-06:00

Thanks for your prayers for Brandy's mom. She is still in the hospital, but stable. They are not going to release her until they find out exactly what is going on. She's had some stroke symptoms but they are not sure that is all.

Please pray for Gordon too. We went to ER last night because of severe pain in his lower back and numbness in his legs. He has a dr. appt. on Tues. if he can wait that long to see him. Would have gone back to ER today except he just is not able.

Our little baby "two feet" is cooking right along. We have about 4-6 weeks before he arrives. It looks like he's going to be a whopper! Please pray for a healthy delivery!!

More later.

Prayer request

2010-11-08T13:18:00.002-06:00

Please pray for Theresia, Brandy's mom. She has most likely suffered a serious stroke. She went by ambulance to the hospital earlier today.

Prayer request

2010-10-13T14:21:00.000-05:00

Please pray for a young lady who tragically lost her husband in an auto accident this week. Her Name is Angela Farmer. She was in my Sunday School class when she was young. She and her sister were part of our youth group at church. She has 1 small child and is expecting their 2nd one. This has been a terrible tragedy for this family, so please lift them up in prayer.

Who pushes your swing?

2010-10-07T21:28:00.000-05:00

In Max Lucado’s devotional Bible He comments on Psalm 89:

“David’s reign was successful because God sustained him.” I have shared I previous blogs what a struggle I have had with anxiety. What is anxiety? The root of it is worry about things that are beyond our control. My Mom used to say, “Worry is a waste of time. If you can do something about the situation, DO IT, and quit worrying. If you can do nothing about it you are wasting your time by worrying.” I have pretty much lived my whole life by that. But since discovering this tumor, I have been consumed with worry. I will say some days are better now, and I believe I am beginning to trust God, realizing He is the ONLY ONE who can sustain me and give me peace about the daily things I am anxious about.

Max Lucado continues his comments: “Children love to swing. There’s nothing like it. Thrusting your feet toward the sky, leaning so far backward that everything looks upside down. Spinning trees, a stomach that jumps into your throat. Ah, swinging…

I learned a lot about trust on a swing. As a child, I only trusted certain people to push my swing. If I was being pushed by people I trusted (like Mom or Dad), they could do anything they wanted. They could twist me, turn me, stop me…But let a stranger push my swing (which often happened at family reunions and Fourth of July picnics), and it was hang on baby! Who knew what this newcomer would do: When a stranger pushes your swing, you tense up, ball up, and hang on…

We live in a stormy world. At this writing, wars rage in both hemispheres of our globe. World conflict is threatening all humanity.

Jobs are getting scarce. Money continues to get tight. Families are coming apart at the seams…

We must remember who is pushing the swing. We must put our trust in Him. We can’t grow fearful. He won’t let us tumble out. (from On the anvil by Max Lucado).”

We have a couple of children’s swings on our front porch. Most mornings that the temperature is tolerable, Gordon and I drink coffee on our porch. If the grandchildren are here they enjoy swinging on those swings. The older children have learned to “pump” themselves, but Sarah Grace still needs a little boost. When she first started swinging, she didn’t quite trust us and wanted us to “swing her easy.” Now her sense of trust is obvious when she says, “Nannie, swing me REALLY BIG!”

I not sure I’m ready to swing really big, but I do recognize that God is in control of my situation. I will have to admit that I believe there are times He has swung me “really big,” but I choose to continue to trust Him because I know He will sustain me.

Ps. 90:1-2 says: “Lord, you have been our home since the beginning. Before the mountains were born and before you created the earth and the world. You are God. You have always been, and you will always be.” I’ll trust Him with my swing.

A GREAT Report

2010-10-07T21:27:00.000-05:00

I started to title this another good report, but I actually believe I got a great one. I saw my cancer doctor yesterday. He says that according to the last MRI, my tumor is stable. I am to continue to take the Temodar (which is not terrible) and see him in 3 months. I have until now had to see him once a month. I have had blood work done every 2 weeks. I now have to have blood drawn once a month for the next 3 months at least. I will consider this a great report. Although I continue to be plagued by fatigue and a couple of other minor physical problems, I feel pretty good most days. I WILL take this opportunity to PRAISE GOD for what He is doing. I give Him all the glory.

Gordon is still battling pain in his neck and shoulder, although he is having a few more days with less pain. But he has developed a problem in his hip and down his legs that causes his legs to become weak and nearly collapse under him. What next??

Thank you for your continued prayers. I know they are what has kept us propped up!!

Update on Gavin

2010-09-26T15:33:00.001-05:00

Elesha took Gavin to the doctor. He has a virus that caused the fever and his glands to swell resulting in his stiff neck. Praise the Lord that it is nothing more severe. Thanks for your prayers. He is such and active little boy that when he lays around you know he is sick!

Just returned from a trip to Gulf Shores with Gordon's cousin, Lonnie and his wife. We had a really good time. The weather was picture perfect and we really enjoyed the food. Didn't find very many tar balls (:-), although they have quite a crew working around the clock, still cleaning up. The lady at the condo where we stayed said their business was off about 70% although there has been very little evidence there of the oil spill. She gave credit to the news media for keeping people away. The beach was beautiful, but they are still sifting sand for possible contamination. Some more of our tax dollars at work, I am sure!!

Our granddaughter Sara Grace was very disturbed that Nannie was on "bacation" and Hap was at the beach. Every year our family goes to the beach with both sets of in-laws and all the grandchildren. So, Sarah was very upset that Hap went to the beach and forgot to take her, and her mommy & daddy, and Gavin & Dakota & their mommy & daddy, and her Nana & Poppy, and Gavin & Dakota's Nana & Papa. As soon as we got home she wanted to know why we went to the beach and forgot to take her and....

I started my monthly round of chemo medication today. I have another MRI scheduled for Oct. 1. Hopefully I will get another good report. Thanks so much for your prayers for Gavin and for me.

Pray for Gavin

2010-09-23T11:25:00.002-05:00

Pray for my grandson Gavin. He is running a fever and in severe pain in his neck.

R&R

2010-09-18T07:14:00.001-05:00

We are planning to be in Gulf Shores next for a little R & R. I continue to get good reports from the doctor. Had a visit this week. Another MRI scheduled next month. I am feeling pretty well most days, but continue to be plagued with fatigue. The dr. increased my thyroid medication, so hopefully that will help. Also still have some anxiety issues from time to time. I am trying to focus my thoughts on God and His ability to care for me, but I must admit that some days it is difficult for me to do that. Please pray for me that I can truly, fully trust Him to work things out. I know He can if I will take myself out of His way!!! Thanks for your cards, prayers, emails, and comments. God's richest blessing upon you ALL!!

Brokeness

2010-08-31T07:00:00.000-05:00

I am not sure of the origin of this, but wanted to share it with all. Received it via email from a friend. I can tell you I know personally about brokenness. It is no a comfortable place to be, but it is a healing place.

Have You Ever Been Broken?
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart. These O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17 (NKJV)

The pain and penalty of brokenness is often circumstantial, and even at times self-inflicted. A remorseful result of our own choices and desires that perhaps begin with good intentions but somewhere down the line our lives seemingly veer out of control. To capsulize the preceding thoughts, brokenness is typically a result of two fold sin. Our sin against God or someone's sin or trespass against us that leaves us undone and in need of healing. When we find ourselves broken while agonizing at its beginning, it ultimately becomes the precise place and time where God would have us to be in order to do what only He has the power to do. In fact, He sent Jesus to do just that. "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted." Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

This particular Psalm is quite familiar to most of us if not all. Its writing by the psalmist David comes in the wake of David's sins of adultery and murder. One year has elapsed without confession or repentance. David's relationship with God is obviously broken not to mention his own heart and spirit. The pain and agony of his brokenness has come to a point where David has begun to exhibit physical symptoms. "When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me, my vitality was turned into the drought of summer." Psalm 32:4-5 (NKJV) David is spent, and left without vitality. His conscience haunts him day and night. Brokenness cannot be concealed or hidden as we may think. It surely cannot be hidden from God. If it is not confronted and cleansed then we cannot be made whole.

When our hearts and spirits are broken, God is not looking for our self-denial, arrogance, or cover up. He is looking for our contrition, which to say a contrite heart. Contrite in the original text means to "crush." By extension it can mean to be "humble." God is the healer and rescuer of one who is crushed in spirit. He also promises to live with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. "For thus says the High and Lofty One who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him who has a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones." Isaiah 57:15 (NKJV) He promises to dwell with us in order to revive us. God will meet us just where we are regardless of the circumstances, and will minister to us just the way we are.

God will never despise our brokenness nor hold us in contempt. He knows why we are there and how long we have struggled. He doesn't want us to linger one moment longer. He is waiting to resurrect, reconcile, and restore us to wholeness, but we must come in our brokenness. It is our chance to receive an outward demonstration of His healing grace and His chance to make us all over again. "Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way! Thou art the Potter, I am the clay. Mold me and make me after Thy will, while I am waiting, yielded and still." Adeliade A. Pollard (1902)

Update on Theresia

2010-08-31T06:59:00.002-05:00

Update on Theresia

Brandy's Mom had her surgery Saturday afternoon. She had 4 doctors tell her prior to surgery they would most likely have to amputate, possibly to her knee. BUT when they got into the surgery, they found fresh tissue which they had not really expected to find. So PRAISE THE LORD! They cleaned up the wound, removed a small portion of bone and closed the wound up. It is about half the size of post surgery site. If the tissue holds, they think it will heal in time. The biggest object is keeping her off the foot until it heals. Please pray for her to be patient and follow doctors orders, and for God to bring healing, speedily and complete!!
Thanks for your continued prayers.
Annalie

Addendum to prayer request

2010-08-28T12:13:00.000-05:00

From Jerry, Brandy's dad:

Theresia has been readmitted to the hospital for her foot. They are going to go back in and debris her foot again but at this time all four doctors that have looked at her foot are talking amputation, we will know more after they debris tomorrow after 2:00 pm. Please PRAY for her and ask any PRAYER WARRIORS you know to add her to their prayer list.

Thank You for lifting her up to God.

Jerry

Prayer request

2010-08-28T10:09:00.000-05:00

Please pray for Todd's mother-in-law. She is diabetic, has neuropathy in her feet. While we were at the beach this summer, she burned one of her feet on the hot sand. She has a place that will not heal. They have done a little surgery to it and attached a pump to keep the fluid off, but it still is not healing. At this point they may have to amputate her foot. Please pray for us as we face this dilemma, but especially for her that she will have peace about all of this.

I am doing pretty well. Continue to get good reports from the doctor (PTL!), but have really been fatigued. They have discovered that my thyroid is low. Am taking medication for that.

Gordon is till in a lot of pain. He is on so much pain medication that he is a zombie some days. There is another disc further down his spine they think is causing most of his problem. They want to do more surgery, but so far, he says no.

Thank you for your continued prayers in our behalf.
Annalie

Update on Gracie

2010-08-25T07:58:00.001-05:00

Thanks for your prayers for my niece Gracie. She is at home and seems to be resting well. Hopefully no more surprises!

Please pray

2010-08-24T11:23:00.001-05:00

Please be in prayer for my niece Gracie Clark. She is expecting a baby and is now in the hospital prematurely. They have already lost one baby, prematurely, so naturally are VERY CONCERNED. However, they know God is in control and have been such examples of faith for so many people. Please pray that God will keep them in his care and preserve the life of this child.

I am continuing to get good reports from the doctor. Just started another round of chemo this morning. Will write more later. Thanks for your prayers.

Peace

2010-08-04T13:55:00.001-05:00

I have shared over the last few months (maybe longer than that in looking over my past blogs) how restless and anxious I have been about so many things over which I have such little control. I believe I am learning to trust God in these situations, but I still struggle at times with letting go. God has sent me frequent reminders that He is in control, through words from friends, sermons, or something I have read. SO, I would like to share this with you, most of which came from Elizabeth Elliot, whom I have quoted before.

As Jesus prepared His disciples for his death, He COMMANDED them to be at peace. His parting gift was “peace such as the world can never give…Set your troubled hearts at rest and banish your fears…the world must be shown that I love the Father, and do exactly as he commands.” (Jn.14:27) Christ proved that “there is such a thing as obedient faith, faith which is not dependent on receiving benefits only. Jesus had to show the world that He loved the Father and would, no matter what happened, do what He said.”

Elizabeth Elliot says there are “things that have transfigured my own thinking, things learned very slowly, very imperfectly, and over many years.

Suffering was indispensable for the world’s salvation.

There was no other way but the cross.

The servant is no greater than his Lord.

If we suffer with Him we shall also reign with Him.

Shall we not follow the Master in suffering as in everything else, that the world may be shown that we love the Father and will do just what He says? The world does not want to be told. The world must be shown—shown by the very guts of faith.”

Does our faith rest on having prayers answered as we think they should be answered, or does it rest on that mighty love that went down into death for us? We can’t really tell where it rests, until we’re in real trouble. His will alone is our peace (Dante).

‘True, He died on the cross in weakness, but He lives by the power of God; and we who share His weakness shall by the power of God live with Him in your service’ (2 Cor. 13:4).

We in our miseries may share His weakness, and therefore live with Him in the service of others. All that is given is meant to be poured forth. The flower pours forth its sweetness, the tree its blossom and fruit, its powers of purification, its shade, its wood. In the words of Ugo Basso, ‘Measure thy life by loss and not by gain; not by the wine drunk but by the wine poured forth, for love’s strength standeth in love’s sacrifice, and he that suffereth most hath most to give.’

Those who speak most deeply to our hearts in times of trouble are invariably those who have suffered. They have much to give. We recognize its authenticity and willingly receive it. ‘He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed’ (Prov. 11:25). So the cycle continues—love’s sacrifice, then the fruit of that sacrifice in blessing others, and that blessing rebounding to the refreshment of the one who sacrifice. ‘If a man will let himself be lost for my sake, that man is safe’ (Lk 9:24).

We are not often called to great sacrifice, but daily we are presented with the chance to make small ones—a chance to make someone cheerful, a chance to do some small thing to make someone comfortable or contented, a chance to lay down our petty preferences or cherished plans. This probably requires us to relinquish something—our own convenience or comfort, our own free evening, our warm fireside, or even our habitual shyness or reserve or pride. My liberty must be curtailed, bound down, ignored (oh, how the world hates this sort of thing! How our own sinful natures hate it!)—for the sake of the liberation of others.

‘Every day we experience something of the death of Jesus, so that we may also show the power of the life of Jesus in these bodies of ours’ (2 Cor. 4:10, JBP).”

I have no trouble accepting other commands that Christ has given, so why should it be so difficult for me to receive His peace? It not an option. If I am truly His child, I MUST be at peace! He commands it.

MRI Results

2010-07-29T12:25:00.000-05:00

I am sorry I have not posted a report on my MRI. I am continuing to get good reports from the doctor. There has been no change in the size of my tumor, Praise the Lord and thanks for my good doctors and medicine. Of course they are learning more all the time about how to treat these things and how they respond to new medications. BUT I know that God can reach His hand down inside this body He created and snatch that tumor right out of my head! I pray that He will do just that!!
Recognizing that God is our Great Physician, I continue to pray for my healing, but I also believe God has a will and a purpose for this crisis in my life. My cousin Sandy Cooper, who lives in Rochester, N.Y. shared a booklet that her church (Love Joy Gospel Church, Lancaster, N.Y.) published about healing. In part it says, "Many make the mistake of substituting belief in healing for the actual taking of God's medicine--His Word (Prov. 4:20-22). They say, 'I believe in healing,' without actually taking the medicine...God's Word is His medicine." It is a healing agent. It is no respecter of persons, but our healing depends on whether we will take the medicine (God's Word). It must also be taken according to directions to be effective. (Prov. 4:20-21). I am taking the medicine, hopefully according to His directions.
I am trying really hard to find God's purpose in this, to do what He has called me to do and the rest is up to Him.
I am So thankful for the love and support you continue to show us. Please continue to pray for Gordon, He has had cataract surgery, and is doing well from that. This weekend he has had a TERRIBLE problem with infection in a tooth and is being treated for that. Will probably have to have it taken out. He has an appointment with the thyroid doctor in a couple of weeks. His doctor is concerned about his thyroid levels. BAM! BAM! BAM!

2010-07-15T10:29:00.000-05:00

I am continuing to get good reports from the doctor (PTL). Have an MRI scheduled Jul. 19. I seem to be doing well physically, but emotionally I have been a wreck! Suddenly I seem to be overwhelmed by what I perceive that needs to be done. My faithful family reminds me that I just don't need to worry about that, but I have a difficult time turning it off. I know God is faithful and He will help me somehow get through this too. SO I am reading some books, including of course my Bible, which helps.

I have always been a avid reader. Anytime we traveled, or I had a few minutes waiting for an appointment, I felt like I was wasting time if I wasn't reading something. I nearly always have a book bag of some kind in tow with several things to choose from, if I find myself having to wait on someone.

When I worked in the library at school, sometimes kids would come to me with problems of some kind, and more frequently than not, I would suggest that they read a specific book. One day a young lady came to me about something and I suggested a particular title to her. One of her friends approached us and the young lady I was "counseling" said, "You know Mrs. Maynard. She has a book for everything!" I used to tell my children, and the children at school too, "You cannot live long enough to learn all of life's lessons personally. You can learn them from your own personal experience or from the experiences of someone else. I personally would rather learn from someone else's experiences." Hence, one of my motivations for reading!

I believe that has been one of God's purposes in fulfilling my life. I have prayed for my children, my grandchildren, and many who are somehow connected to me that they would find and fulfill their God given purposes in their lives. I believe that is one of the most powerful things we can pray for our families, especially in these troubling times. If we can somehow fulfill what God has called us to do then we WILL receive our reward. I must admit that I am still trying to figure that out. One thing for sure we all can do is to take advantage of every opportunity we are given to encourage others and to share Christ,

I have discovered a little booklet called "7 absolutes to pray for your kids." I wish it had been available when my kids were small. It is a great guide to pray for your children, or any others that are under your influence, yourself included. I highly recommend it. I found it at Wal-Mart, but you can also order it online at Amazon.com.

Another book I have bee reading that I wish had been available when my children were small is "Say goodbye to Whining, complaining and bad attitudes in you and your kids," also available at Amazon.com. It is a wonderful study about building honor in your children, and yourself. Many problems we have in getting along have their root in dishonor. This book is not a difficult read, and is set up with devotional guides. Based on the premise that anyone can extract obedience from a child, but teaching them about honor changes their attitude.

Well, there's your homework!! Thanks for listening, and for your continued prayers.

Annalie

Addendum to blog

2010-06-29T09:38:00.000-05:00

I neglected to say in this blog, how much I appreciate each of you who have served in one of these capacities in my life. You all have contributed to the person I have become. Thank you for your patience, wisdom, love, encouragement and prayers, not just in my hour of trial, but in every area of my life. I thank God for you!!!

My First Stone

2010-06-28T12:59:00.001-05:00

Sorry I have not posted anything on my blog for awhile. We have had a lot going on. My grandchildren continue to consume a lot of my time for which I am thankful. The are growing up too fast. I don't know if I mentioned that Brant and Elesha are expecting their third child toward the end of the year. We are thankful for a healthy pregnancy so far.

Spent a week at the beach, not our N.C, beach as usual this year. We Went to Cape San Blas near Pensacola, not as far to drive, and much like Holden Beach, N.C. We were not affected by the oil thankfully. Had a wonderful week of fellowship with our children and in-laws, and God blessed us with nice weather, except it was HOT!!

I have not felt the greatest for a few weeks, low energy level and a few other issues, but I received another good report from my chemo doctor last week. Praise the Lord!! I am schedule for my regular MRI in July. No reason to feel cause for concern at this point, I continue to pray for my healing, and ask that you do too. At the same time I recognize that God has a plan for my life, and I have no idea how He has used my circumstances to touch others. I pray that someone has been influenced for the Glory of God by my circumstances. Isn't that what the body of Christ is all about anyway?

In light of that I would like to share the segment below which I received from a friend who has undergone back surgery and is suffering terribly. Her name is Betsy Woods, and I know she would appreciate your prayers for her recovery too.

Gordon continues to suffer excruciation pain in his neck and shoulder most of the time. Has cataract surgery scheduled in July. I guess you could say we are officially "over the hill" although much of the time I feel like we are under it!!

Thanks for your continued cards, calls, prayers. They mean so much to us!!!

Devotion:

"I got my first stone."

That was my announcement at a luncheon a few months ago with some of
my favorite women. Patty has a gathering of her older friends at her
home to celebrate various occasions, and this time it was Billie's
birthday.

I happened to be the youngest woman at the luncheon, and I love
listening to and learning from these seasoned and sage ladies. We
discussed spiritual things, home décor, and of course, their
grandchildren.

Then came the moment for my big contribution to the conversation: "I
got my first stone."

There was an awkward pause.

I couldn't figure out why they were so shy to respond. Maybe they're
unfamiliar with stones, I thought, and how much better they are than
traditional baking sheets. Or maybe they don't know how much better a
pizza crust turns out on a stone.

But my thoughts were interrupted by a brave older woman as she asked,
"Honey, what kind of stone, kidney or gall?"

I began to giggle. "I meant the kind you bake with!" They all
chuckled, and reminded me that the kinds of stones that came to mind
during their stage of life had little to do with baking. Yet these
geriatric gals knew their stuff, and quickly began to tutor me on the
proper use of stones.

"Don't use soap on it," one instructed.

Oh, and if it breaks in your oven, the sound is awful so don't be
alarmed," another advised.

Since I left that luncheon, I have never used or thought of my stone
in quite the same way. But here's what I have thought. "Thank You,
Lord, for women who walk together, talk together, do life together,
cry together, grow together and laugh together."

Do you have someone in your life who makes your soul blossom?
Scripture reminds us that "oil and perfume make the heart glad, and
the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel" (Proverbs
27:9).

Your faith will continue to grow as you fasten yourself to faithful
friends who give good counsel. Whether they instruct you about baking
stones or lead you to the "rock that is higher" (Psalm 61:2), they
will enrich your life. And, if you don't feel you have that kind of
friend, become one. Someone needs a charming gardener to bring joy to
their life. You have a friend who sticks closer than a brother, lean
on him, he will never leave or forsake you.

"Keep me safe, O God, I've run for dear life to you. I say to God, "Be
my Lord!" Without you, nothing makes sense. And these God-chosen lives
all around — what splendid friends they make!" (Psalm 16:1-3, the
Message)

Dear Lord, Help me to become the kind of friend to other that I long
to have. May my friendship with Jesus make me secure and wise and
equip me to receive and be the kind of friend who glorifies You. In
Jesus' Name, Amen

Fresh Grounded Faith: Devotions to Awaken Your Spirit, by Jennifer
Rothschild

Reflections:

Do my friendships bring out my strengths or weaknesses?

Moses talked to God "like a friend." Do I? If not, how can I become
God's friend?

To be like Christ, we must be full of "grace and truth." Is grace and
truth a vital part of my friendships? If not, how can I change that?

Power Verses:

Psalm 119:63, "I am a companion of all those who fear You, And of
those who keep Your precepts." (NASV)

Proverbs 27:6, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are
the kisses of an enemy." (NASV)

Proverbs 27:17, "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." (NASV)

Prayer request

2010-04-21T02:40:00.000-05:00

Please pray for the Malone family. They are neighbors of Kim and Jerry Vanhooser, friends of ours. She teaches at Central School, where Gordon and I used to teach. This afternoon the young Malone boy's dad was mowing their yard. Somehow he ran over his son with the lawn mower The parents were following the ambulance to the hospital and they were involved in a wreck about a mile from our house. They are both in critical condition in Huntsville Hospital. Please PRAY for this family.

Brain tumor update

2010-04-19T15:02:00.001-05:00

Just letting everyone know that I got another good report from my most recent MRI. Dr. Dang says it is still there, but no evidence that it is growing, I will consider this a good report, and thank God and my good doctors and for what they have done. I continue to believe God for my healing, but also recognize more than ever that I am in His care; that He has a purpose for what is going on in my life, and I trust Him completely with the outcome. There is no more comforting place to be than that.

We have had a series of events at our church that has brought this more forcefully to my mind, one of which is the loss of a wonderful friend to cancer, whom I wrote about in my last blog. Ps. 128:7 says, "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me." Laura Lanier writes in her book, All things bright and beautiful, using grapevines to portray our lives in Christ. "The older gnarled vines were beautiful to sketch because of their knotty twists and bends. Over the course of time, the winds, rains, and sun--the weathering effects of the seasons--had forced these shapes. The most luscious growth came from these rugged old vines...grapes so heavy and bountiful they seemed to invite people to pick them.

In another vineyard were young plants which had suffered no ill effects of nature at all. They offered no particular beauty or character and were hardly worth of my pencil or paintbrush.

As it is in nature, so it is in God's kingdom. From the winds and rains of adversity comes abundant growth and a beautiful life worth painting. Do not be afraid to suffer...It is from being shaken apart and not being destroyed that one becomes strong and courageous."

How sad it would be to live my life and have "no beauty or character and have it said there is nothing worthy of pencil or brush." I pray that does not happen.

Thank you for your continued prayers, and continue to remember my friend James Cole's family.

Pray for this family

2010-04-05T21:08:00.002-05:00

My friend, James Cole, went to be with the Lord this afternoon. Please pray for his dear family.

Honor is Due

2010-04-02T12:16:00.000-05:00

The Bible instructs us to give honor to whom honor is due. I would like to take this opportunity to do that to a man who certainly deserves it. His name is James Cole, and I have had the privilege of attending church with him for many years and have watched his life. He is probably one of the best portrayals of Christ likeness I have ever known.

Truly a man of integrity, he has influenced many lives with his honesty and his impeccable character. He has truly blessed God by setting a Godly example as husband, father, grandfather, friend and church leader.. He has also set a Godly example for sinners and stumbling Christians with his patience and longsuffering. He has spoken the truth in love.

He truly believes that his body is the temple of God’s Holy Spirit, and he has treated it likewise; refraining from any habits that would harm his body and consuming only what is good for him nutritionally. His family has eaten what they grew, fresh vegetables and fruit. That is why it was such a shock to find out recently that he had colon cancer.

In spite of this he continues to bless God and trust him for healing. He has been such an encouragement to me (and others too, I am sure) with his strong faith that God WOULD heal him. He has been an icon of faith for those in our church who are sick, and I am sure to many others I don’t even know about.

This church leader and family friend (church family), has set an unwavering example for his family of God’s order in our lives: God first; family next; then others. He has the wisdom to instruct, compassion to forgive, and the faith to believe when there is NO evidence that God is a work. After all, isn’t that what faith is?

I thank God for this man and his WONDERFUL family , for the contributions they have made to my life personally and to the body of Christ.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “To know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.” I believe that James Cole has succeeded.!

Please pray for this wonderful family as they face the biggest challenge in their life.

This email is from James’ Son.

"Annalie,

I'm humbled by your words and know that we share your feelings about Dad. I'm proud to be his son, and can only pray that some of it rubs off on me... :-) He has truly led our family in the "ways of righteousness" and helped to establish a foundation for so many people that only will be fully known when we all are in heaven. He's always been my best friend.

I know the Lord is "able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think" and that includes healing both him and you!

Please hold Mom up in your prayers - she's really tired and doesn't want to leave his side.

Dad had a really good day today. He was awake and alert. He had several visitors and phone calls - he enjoyed his time with everyone.

Thank you for honoring Dad in this way. We love you and your family as well - know that we are bombarding heaven for you as well!

Love,

Mike, Renee, Hannah and Emma"

Push

2010-03-23T12:04:00.001-05:00

I received this via email. Some of you may have already seen it but I feel it is worth sharing on my blog, because I feel that this is exactly where I have been. Thank you for your continued prayers and support,

A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled
With light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him
to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord
explained that the man was to Push against the rock with all his might...

So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from
sunup to sundown, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive
surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might!

Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling
that his whole day had been spent in vain. Since the man was showing
discouragement, the adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by
placing thoughts into the weary mind: (He will do it every time)!

'You have been pushing against that rock for a long time and it hasn't
moved.' Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

Satan said, 'Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving
just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough.' That's what the
weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of Prayer and
to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

'Lord,' he said, 'I have labored long and hard in Your Service, putting
All my strength to do that which You have asked. Yet, after all this
time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong?
Why am I failing?'

The Lord responded compassionately, 'My friend, when I asked you to
serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against
the rock with all of your strength, which you have done.

Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your
Task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent,
thinking that you have failed..

But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and
muscled, your back shiny and brown; your hands are callused from
constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard.

Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass
That which you used to have. True, you haven't moved the rock. But your
Calling was to be Obedient and to push and to exercise your Faith and
trust in My Wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock.'

At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own
intellect to decipher what He Wants, when actually what God wants is
just simple obedience and faith in Him.

By all means, exercise the Faith that moves mountains, but know that it
Is still God Who moves the Mountains.

When everything seems to go wrong.........................Just P.U.S.H.

When the job gets you down................................Just P.U.S.H.

When people don't do as you think they should.............Just P.U.S.H.

When your money is 'gone' and the bills are due...........Just P.U.S.H.

When people just don't understand you ....................Just P.U.S.H.

P = Pray

U = Until

S = Something

H = Happens

Heart update.

2010-03-05T17:31:00.001-06:00

Had an appointment with the heart doctor today, Dr. Allison. He is really nice, and very concerned, which is what you need if your heart's in trouble! He thinks things look good. I do not have to see him again for 6 mos., which I will consider a blessing. I am on 20 mg. of cardizem daily, which Gordon's mother has been on for several years. She has had the same problem for a LONG time, and she is ticking right along.

I was not able to detect my heart irregularity, and still cannot feel it for the most part. I have been really tired for a few weeks, which I attributed to my chemo, but he said the heart irregularity could certainly play a part in that. I have felt better the last few days.Thank you so much for your continued cards, prayers, and emails. Keep up the GOOD WORK!!

My latest

2010-03-02T13:24:00.001-06:00

It has been such a long time since I wrote anything for my blog. I really feel like we have been “under the gun,” yet I know there are SO MANY who are worse off than I. I do believe the Lord is doing a work in our lives, so that gives me hope. I have said before, “If I could find out where the line starts, I am ready to line up!"

There have been many days when I have wondered about God’s purpose in this. I am reminded often in my reading that God sees the whole plan, we see only see part. What measures would He entertain to bring us to the place He wants us to be? Jean Fleming writes in The homesick heart, “God’s primary intent is to reveal Himself, not to hide; to speak, not to withdraw. God did not put in man the need for Him and then retreat to a dark corner of an impossible maze. In His essential nature, God is a communicator.

Everywhere a longing God attempts to unfold some glory of Himself in smaller glories that our finite minds can receive…That God, holy and majestic, puts aside His dignity and manifests Himself in the most ordinary kinds of things astonishes me.

God not only condescends to make Himself known, He expresses divine mysteries in terms concrete and familiar to make the truth accessible to our limited human minds. Like a father who stoops to look his toddler in the eye, God considers our limitations.

God typifies, interprets, and explains Himself in numerous similes, metaphors and analogies…’He will cover you with his feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.’ (Ps. 91:4)

God reveals His longing heart as He parcels out His magnificence in little packages that only imperfectly represent Him so we might know Him.”

I do not pretend to understand all that has happened to us. I must admit there have been some times that I have been discouraged. BUT I do believe God has a purpose in all this AND I am determined to follow Him through to the very end!

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” I trust that some lives have been strengthened or changed because I have lived.

Annalie home

2010-02-12T21:43:00.001-06:00

Annalie is home. They are going to medicate and monitor over the next couple of days and hope that regulates the heart rate. I'll take that as answered prayer for now! I'll keep you all posted.

Elesha

2010-02-12T19:22:00.002-06:00

Can't get Annalie's heart rate down to 90. Lowest it has gone is 102. Back up now though. We can't go to the ER because they are letting anyone in because of the shootings. The best we can do is pray from here.

Doctors say it is atrial fibrillation. Her heart rate was 138 when she went to the ER. Using iv and oral meds to try and lower it. If they knew exactly how long it had been going on, they could do some sort of electrical shock therapy to get it back to normal. She has been having some feet and leg swelling that they are attributing to this heart issue.

update

2010-02-12T16:41:00.001-06:00

May let Annalie go home if they can get her heart rate back under 90 bpm. Will regulate with medicine if they do and recheck in a week or two. Hoping this is a quick recovery! Continue to pray for her.

Elesha

ER update

2010-02-12T14:09:00.001-06:00

Just spoke with Gordon. Annalie had a chest xray and EKG today. The chest xray was fine but the EKG was not. They are at the ER waiting to have further testing done. She will probably be admitted from there.

Please pray for Annalie

2010-02-12T13:47:00.002-06:00

Annalie had a chest xray scheduled for today due to a faster heart rate than she should have and some respiration difficulty. At the appointment, they decided to admit her to the hospital. While they were getting all that situated, Gordon texted me to let me know they are now taking her to the ER. I'm not sure what is going on at this point. Just pray for her please. Will update you all later.

Thanks
Elesha

Another good report

2010-01-13T16:16:00.001-06:00

Another good report

I had my quarterly MRI this week and my follow-up consultation with the dr. I was privileged to see Michelle, Dr. Dang's physician's assistant. She has been such a blessing to me. I have not been able to see her much because our insurance will only pay for a "certified doctor." So, when I get to see her it is a real privilege--not to diminish Dr. Dang's role in my health at all. He is a wonderful doctor, and has been very concerned about my welfare. I got a "good report" from my MRI, meaning there is no indication of change in the size of the tumor. I will receive that as a GOOD REPORT, although I would prefer them to tell me it is gone. I have a friend at church that told me that God spoke to her that my tumor was going to be "as if it never was there." The whole time I was laying on the table for the MRI, I prayed that prayer. Not yet, but that does not change who God is or what he can do in my life.

In my last blog, I shared what another lady at church said about the elderly (and lame). That God still has things for us to do, and we should be trying to discover what it is He wants us to do. I very much want to do that, SO I am going to quit complaining and making excuses, and grow where I am planted, in an effort to allow God to accomplish what He will in my life.

In his book, Psalm 23, the song of a passionate heart, David Roper says this: "God knows our pace. He knows when grief, pain, and loneliness overwhelm us; when the full realization of our limitations comes home to us; when we're shamed and broken and unable to go on. God does not drive His sheep; He gently leads them. He allows for hesitation and trepidation. He gives credit for decisions and resolutions that are strenuously tested. He understands courage that falters in the face of terrible odds; He can accommodate a faith that flames out under stress. He takes into account the hidden reasons for failure; He feels the full weight of our disasters. He knows our pain as no one else knows it. Our bleating reaches His ears; He hears even our inarticulate cries.

When we lag behind He does not scold us. Rather He gathers us up, encircles us with His strong arm, and carries us next to His heart. The essence, the central core of God's character, lies here: He has the heart of a tender shepherd. "Great is the gentleness of our Lord," says German scholar Johann Bengel."

As human beings, we have such a tendency to pass judgment or give up on others that don't somehow measure up. I am afraid I have been guilty of this more times than I care to think about. Thank God that He does not measure us with the same measure we measure others. I am thankful that the pressure is off. That is not part of my job description!

PATIENT UPDATES: Gordon started physical therapy this week. He is still in more pain than he would like, and has also been plagued with bouts of nausea and dizziness. He has become best friends with his recliner. My heart goes out to him because of the pain he continues to endure. My daughter-in-law is healing nicely from her gall bladder surgery. Her Mom is recovering at home finally. We are so fortunate to have her. She is truly a miracle from God! Even her doctors are amazed that she pulled through. If God performs one miracle, He can do another!! Thank you all for your continued prayers.

Addendum to my blog about old age

2010-01-06T10:04:00.000-06:00

I am reading a book (imagine that!!), a commentary on the 23 Psalm by David Roper, Psalm 23, the song of a passionate heart. After reading only a few pages I believe this author has been "reading my mail."

He says of David's Psalm, "Some say the psalm was one of David's first efforts, composed while he was still a youth. But I disagree. Though the poem enshrines the memories and metaphors of David's early years, it is the thoughts of someone nearer the end of life than the beginning. Only a mature mind can sort out the complexities of life and fix on the things that matter. Only an old soul knows that very few things are necessary--actually only one."

I believe that is exactly what I have been trying to say in my blog and to my loved ones. When all is said and done, there is ONLY ONE necessary thing, and that is our relationship to God Almighty, who humbled Himself to become human flesh, so He could truly plead our case.

Going home

2010-01-06T09:57:00.001-06:00

Theresia (Brandy's mother) is FINALLY going home from the hospital today. Don't know exactly what restriction she will have except dialysis 3 times per week. Thanks so much for your prayers, and please continue to lift her up. She TRULY is a miracle of God.
Annalie

Things I have discovered in old age

2010-01-04T09:47:00.001-06:00

If you have white hair, you are obviously someone's grandmother. When Todd was in the 1st. grade his friends wanted to know if I was his grandmother. (:-)

My hands look older than I am. Gavin tells me often, "Nannie, your hands are really old!" I have not been brave enough to ask what he thinks of my hair and face.

The best breakfast, nutritious and delicious, is a banana spread with nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)!

You still have to mind your children, especially when it comes to theirs.

Grandchildren ARE your reward for not killing your own.

Reading is one of the best investments of time. You cannot live long enough to learn all of life's lessons personally (at The School of Hard Knocks)...It is less expensive and less painful to learn from someone else's experiences.

To pick my battles. Things I used to think were so important, I cannot even remember now. I pray that my children will forgive me for "grinding at their very bones" about some things that really were not significant at all.

There is comfort in a long marriage. As with my children, I wish I had picked my fights more carefully. I am thankful that Gordon as stood by me in spite of my warts. We fit, like broken in shoes.

That all the "things" I thought I could not live without, I now can. All those "things" become a weight around your neck. They are too nice to discard; your children don't really want that "antique" bed; all those what-nots are just something else to dust!

That I have possibly influenced someone's life for the better. When you wake up in recovery after an operation and see a former student, you think maybe you did something right. When you find out one of your former students has willingly donated a kidney to someone that needs it, you think maybe you played a small part. When one of your former Sunday School students comes home to preach a powerful sermon, you think WOW!! He's just a kid!!

Most of all that God is a patient God, loving and long-suffering, and still in my old age, not finished with me yet. I have other things He has called me to do. I'm not sure exactly what but as Jason Lowe said in his sermon today, "All I have to do is take the next step." I believe I can do that!

Friendships are priceless. Some friends come into your life for a season. God brings them there to accomplish something in your life, or in theirs. Then they are gone. But some friends He brings you for a lifetime. Those are the ones who laugh with you, cry with you, pray with you, encourage you, and speak to you truthfully, sometimes things you do not want to hear. I thank God for each of you who have served my life in either purpose. It is true that a real friend, will "stick closer than a brother," and in my case, that is mighty close!!

Patient update

2010-01-01T17:00:00.001-06:00

A quick update on our patients!! Theresia may get to go home this week, with outpatient dialysis, She has a collapsed lung as well. They are trying a procedure to inflate it. If that is successful, she will go home on dialysis 3 time per week.

Gordon's surgery is improving, although not as fast as he would like. He is still in quite a lot of pain.

NOW Brandy has had a gallbladder attack. They will probably do surgery on her this week to remove that.

WHAT MORE?????

Thanks for your continued prayers. Will catch up when I finish this round (:-)!!

P.S. Dec. 31, 2:30 p.m.

Brandy has had surgery as I post this. Is in recovery. Dr. expects everything to be fine. Thanks again for your prayers.

Gordon's surgery

2009-12-23T10:12:00.001-06:00

Thanks you so much for your prayers AGAIN!! Gordon's neck surgery is successful so far. Dr. Pickett was pleased with the results. Of course Gordon is in quite a bit of pain from surgery, but hopefully that will subside in a day or two.

Please continue to pray for Todd's mother-in-law, Theresia. She was hoping to come home yesterday (Tuesday), but her kidneys are still not functioning well enough. Of course they are disappointed. Would like to have her home for Christmas, but not looking to promising at this time.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-18T15:32:00.001-06:00

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a glad New Year, since it is obvious on this 18th day of December that I most likely will not be sending Christmas Cards this year. Thank you all so much for the cards you have sent, Christmas and encouragement. They are a continuing reminder that you all care and that is such an encouragement.

Please consider this greeting an invitation to share a cup of tea (or coffee) with me. One of the books I have been reading called "Tea time with God" has this to say about tea. "Thinking of 'tea time' evokes pleasant memories of friendships steeping over a hot pot of tea. With the image of a beautifully laid table set with Grandmother's fine china and silver, we recall a finer time of civility, gentility, propriety--when life made perfect sense.

While not everyone observes a formal afternoon tea time, the tradition of breaking for a small repast of tea and cakes can benefit anyone. The rush of the day's activities slows for a moment, shared conversation with a friend turns our thoughts toward being instead of doing, a peace is reestablished in our lives. It is a time to repair our frayed nerves and restore order to a fractured day.

Spending a few moments in the afternoon with the Lord can begin with reviewing the day's events so far. Get any negatives our of the way first, such as a hasty affront to a coworker, or a missed opportunity for doing good. Pray for forgiveness and the opportunity to make restitution. Then express gratitude to God for the prayers He has answered and for His help.
Any time, any day, is a good time for praise, thanksgiving, and forgiveness--but especially so when the heat of the day still lingers and our souls are weary."

I must often remind myself about the benefits of "checking out" of the day's routine and demands for a quiet respite when I feel I can least afford it. I pray this Christmas season that your hearts and souls will be refreshed in God as our bodies and souls are refreshed with a literal "tea time."

Psalm 23:2-3 "He leadeth me beside the still waters, He restoreth my soul."

Updates on our patients.
Arlene (My sister-in-law) is recovering from hip surgery at home, Doing nicely so far.

My niece, Gracie's little adopted Adrianna got the cast off her hip, is at home, but in quite a lot of pain when she has to move.

Brandy's mother, Theresia is still in the hospital, but doing much better. They had to do dialysis to get the fluid off, but don't expect that to be permanent. Her mother, Billie Smith had gall bladder surgery yesterday (Thurs., Dec 16) and is recovering at home.

Gordon has another neck surgery scheduled Dec. 22. Please pray that this one will be successful and heal quickly--no bumps in the road this time (:-)!

Elesha's grandfather had a short stay in the hospital, but his health continues to decline. Has some problems with his heart. Please continue to pray for their family too.

Thank you so much for your continued prayers and support. I literally could not make it without them.

Prayer requests

2009-12-06T19:14:00.002-06:00

Theresia is back out in a regular hospital room. There is still some concern about her kidney function, but she seems to be doing better. Thanks for your prayers for her continued recovery.

Please pray for Elesha's grandfather. He had a "weak spell" at church this morning and they took him to the hospital by ambulance.

Pray for my sister-in-law, Arlene, who is having surgery on her hip tomorrow.

Gordon has an appointment with Dr. Pickett to read his mylogram and possibly set up more surgery.

Update on Theresa

2009-12-02T14:04:00.000-06:00

Update from Brandy:

mom is back in icu. She has excess fluid on her lungs and bp not stable. doctors say 2-3 days in icu.

Thankful

2009-12-02T10:06:00.002-06:00

Unto thee, O God, do we give thanks, unto thee do we give thanks: for that thy name is near thy wondrous works declare.Psalm 75:1-3

O give thanks unto the LORD; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people.Psalm 105:1-3

Praise ye the LORD. O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.Psalm 106:1-3

During this Thanksgiving season, I have SO MUCH for which to be thankful.

For God's love that motivated Him to sacrifice His Precious Son for my sinful self. That dictated Him to FREELY give His most precious possession for my relationship to be restored to Him.

For the privilege of growing up in a nation where I could express my love for Him, and I pray weekly that this privilege will be preserved in our nation. I believe if EVERYONE who professes Christ would do more praying and less criticizing, regardless of "party preference," our leaders would do a much better job.

For being "borned" into my Mom's and Dad's family instead of some others I know about (:-)!

For the privilege of being raised in a Godly home by TWO Godly parents who taught us Godly values, not only in word, but in deed also. For the example of selflessness and generosity that they set before us. We were not materially rich, nor even comfortable sometimes. We learned to sacrifice some things in order to have some other, more important things. But we learned that we had enough to help someone who had less than we did. We learned that we could CHOOSE to be happy and enjoy the fellowship of others, or choose to be "pitiful" and cry alone.

For strong family ties. I don't know of anyone in our family who harbors any ill will or animosity toward another family member. We learned at an early age to "prefer our brother/sister." This day and age when we are bombarded from every media source to satisfy ME, that seems remarkable.

For 40 "glorious" (:-) years of marriage to the same man (some more glorious than others); a man who has loved me unconditionally, in spite of my warts (and I have had a few!). For his generous provision for our family (and a few others along the way). For his patience--literally, I have NEVER heard him raise his voice to anyone (which is more than I can say for myself). For his sound work ethic and his loyalty to family and friends.

For children who serve God. The Bible says that, "Children are a blessing from the Lord." I can truly say that mine have been. They are not perfect, but they have truly been blessings from God, as have been our grandchildren (who most assuredly are perfect!) and our daughters-in-love! I have heard it said that grandchildren are your reward for not killing your children. I can attest to that!! My "daughters" have loved us in spite of our warts. I am not naive enough to think that I have been a perfect mother-in-law, but my "daughters" have loved me in spite of my imperfections. For that I am thankful.

For in-laws who have loved us because we are married to their children, or maybe in spite of the fact we are married to their children (:-). Not too many families could put 3 sets of in-laws in one house for a week and still be on speaking terms at the end of the week. We have enjoyed that kind of fellowship with ours for a week at the beach the last few years. For that I am thankful!

For friends who continually encourage us by word and deed. I have a neighbor, who used to be our mail lady, who has sent me the most beautiful cards, one every week that rolls around. I have sent cards to sick people occasionally, but I never realized how much encouragement it is to receive those, especially so consistently.

For pastors and church family who love and encourage us, who have been faithful to inquire about our needs and cover us with compassionate prayer.

For God's direction in my life, although sometimes I didn't heed it. For His merciful forgiveness when I did not. For the privilege of serving in the field of education for so many years, and hopefully having influenced some young lives in a positive manner. I have had several of my former students minister to me in the medical field since all this brain tumor stuff began. I am thankful I was nice enough to them that they didn't use this opportunity to get even (:-).

I am thankful most of all for God's healing power at work in my life. I believe that is one reason I have done so well. I am thankful also for the strides made in treating this and other forms of cancer. For competent doctors who use the gift God has given them to bring healing to my body. For God's direction in connecting me to the right medical professionals who could bring this about.

And for the covering of prayers from friends and family, and total strangers too, that brought all of this together.

I am thankful for a loving, faithful God who is always present to fulfill every area of my life. He truly is ALL WE NEED!!!

Time moves quickly

2009-12-02T09:59:00.001-06:00

I received this via email and thought it worth sharing.

You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all.... And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams... But, here it is..the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise... How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go? I remember well...seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like... But, here it is...my friends are retired and getting gray...they move slower and I see an older person now. Lots are in better shape than me... but, I see the great change... Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant... but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be. Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore....it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will..I just fall asleep where I sit! And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over...its over....Yes , I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done ,,,,,things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done.. It's all in a lifetime....So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!!Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for good today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!'Life is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.' LIVE IT WELL!!----ENJOY TODAY!!!!-----DO SOMETHING FUN!!!----BE HAPPY!!!----BE THANKFUL!!!!!
WARNING: This e-mail is a suspected phishing scam.

New report

2009-11-23T08:54:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to share the latest report from my doctor. I met with Dr. Adams, Dr .Estopinol's partner. I really do like him. He is very personable, and answered several of my questions. They think I am doing great. I have been concerned about my memory loss and he explained that radiation kills the cells around the radiation site, resulting in my short term memory loss. I am having a very difficult time organizing anything, especially my thoughts!! He said it is similar to Alzheimer's, SO I have something to look forward to!!! At least I have an excuse for my forgetfulness now!

However, I want to praise God for His continued blessings, for providing such competent health care and for such wonderful friends and family who continue to encourage me and pray for me!!

Gordon saw Dr. Pickett this week. He has a mylogram scheduled on Nov. 30 to determine if they will do more surgery on his neck. Same problem, but different location.

I hope you all have a wonderful, blessed Thanksgiving.
Annalie

One and only moments

2009-11-20T10:40:00.001-06:00

We had a great trip to Gatlinburg for our 40th anniversary. It was very quiet and relaxing, a few "one and only moments."(:-) We had picture perfect weather, and had no "agenda." We spent a lot of time reflecting on the past "40 glorious years"!! I don't believe there is much either one of us would change if we had the opportunity. I am so thankful for God's blessings in our lives. I have been reading in Joshua about the direct relationship between obedience and blessing. I know that obedience is the most direct path to God's favor, but I am so thankful that He is merciful enough to minister to our needs, and sometimes our wants, in spite of our disobedience. I would like to think that I have been an obedient daughter, but in fact, I have not been many times. God wants our relationship to Him to be reflected in our relationships to each other. In light of that I would like to share the following.

One of my favorite places to visit is the ocean. Every summer we get together at Holden Beach, N.C. with my mother's family for a week. We have been doing this since I was a young child. I always look forward to this trip as a time of refreshing and renewal. It is a time for personal reflection and renewing family ties. In rereading Anne Morrow Lindberg's Gift from the Sea, I found some nuggets about relationships that I would like to share.

"Strangers smile at you on the beach, come up and offer you a shell, for no reason, lightly, and then go by and leave you alone again. Nothing is demanded of you in payment, no social rite expected, no tie established. It is a gift, freely offered, freely taken, in mutual trust. People smile at you here, like children, sure that you will not rebuff them, that you will smile back. And you do, because you know it will involve nothing. The smile, the act, the relationship is hung in space, in the immediacy and purity of the present; suspended on the still point of here and now; balanced there, on a shaft of air, like a seagull.

The pure relationship, how beautiful it is! How easily it is damaged, or weighed down with irrelevancies--not even irrelevancies, just life itself, the accumulations of life and of time. For the first part of every relationship is pure, whether it be with friend, or lover, husband or child, It is pure, simple and unencumbered. It is like the artist's vision before he has to discipline it into form, or like the flower of love before it has ripened to the firm but heavy fruit of responsibility. Every relationship seems simple at its start...It is free of ties or claims, unburdened by responsibilities, by worry about the future or debts to the past." But it swiftly changes, especially the marriage relationship. "The changing pattern is shown up most clearly because it is the deepest one and the most arduous to maintain; because, somehow, we mistakenly feel that failure to maintain its exact original pattern is tragedy."

"The original relationship is very beautiful...but transformation is natural and part of the process of life and its evolution. The early ecstatic stage of a relationship cannot continue always at the same pitch of intensity. It moves to another phase of growth which one should not dread, but welcome...There is also a dead weight accumulation, a coating of false values, habits, and burdens which blights life. It is this smothering coat that needs constantly to be stripped off, in life, as well as in relationships." As we are drawn into more functional roles, man's vs. woman's, we long for that earlier relationship. However, we can never find our true identity ( and build a lasting relationship) until we go "into one's own ground and know oneself...One must loose one's life to find it...Only a refound person can refind a personal relationship...

We all wish to be loved alone," but the cares of this world and the realities of life prevent this from becoming a reality. So instead we must settle for "one and only moments" where we create "moments of together-aloneness that are valid, but not permanent. One comes in the end to realize that there is no permanent pure-relationship and there should not be...The pure relationship is limited, in space and time. In its essence it implies exclusion. It excludes the rest of life, other relationships, other sides of personality, other responsibilities, other possibilities in the future. It excludes growth...but life must go on." We can recreate brief "together-alone experiences which are both refreshing and rewarding, but we should not expect a permanent return, only refreshment. "All living relationships are in process of change, of expansion and must perpetually be building themselves new forms."

There is MUCH MORE wisdom about relationships in this little book. I wish I had read it EARLY in my marriage instead of later. This is not only about marriage relationships, but friendships too. I think it was no accident that I have read this again at this particular time in my life when it is often difficult for me to reflect God. It has made me realize that I should not expect perfection from earthly relationships, that change IS imminent and good, and the ONLY lasting relationships are built on a foundation of "losing one's life."
Matt. 10: 39He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. 40He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.

On the Move

2009-11-12T15:42:00.001-06:00

Just a quick update to say that I am on the move again!! We are leaving today for a few days in Gatlinburg, TN for our anniversary. Gordon reminds me frequently that it has been 40 GLORIOUS YEARS!! Some of them more glorious than others (:-)! I got a good report from Dr. Dang yesterday. He thinks I am doing fine which is great news to me!! Am going to the doctor only once a month now, which is good. Still taking oral chemo 5 days out of the month. Feel pretty good most days. Had lunch today with some friends and co-workers from Central School, where I worked for almost 30 years. Was a great time of fellowship. Will write more when I have time. Thanks for your continued prayers and interest. Praise the Lord for His continued care and faithfulness. Annalie

Prayer request

2009-11-04T09:04:00.000-06:00

Please pray for our little Adrianna, David and Gracie's little Guatemalan girl. Gracie is my youngest brother's eldest daughter. She and her husband adopted a little girl from Guatemala. She had surgery on her hip today, quite involved. Had to put the socket back in the hip joint. She is blind as well and will be in a body cast for 6 wks. She is dead weight, 40 lbs. without the cast. They have to negotiate stairs to their part of the house, living with my mom, Grandma Grace. Please pray for physical stamina for David and Gracie and for a speedy, successful recovery for Adrianna.

Burned Biscuit

2009-11-04T08:57:00.001-06:00

A friend of mine sent this email to me today. I can remember and incident similar to this growing up on a farm, with my mom and dad. We were a farm family, and our main meal was at noon. Many times we had re-runs for supper, or soup, or cereal. Sometimes we took our food to the backyard, and had a picnic while we listened to the critters settling down for the night. I never heard my father complain about what we had to eat. If Mama was canning soup, we had soup for supper. If she was freezing corn, we had corn for supper. Life on the farm for them was (as it is for farmers today) long days, grueling work, and even longer nights during harvest time, when they had to "stir" the harvested seed in the granary every 2 hours all night long, so it would not build up too much heat and destroy the harvest. I never remember my mama complaining about her work load with all the farm chores and 4 babies in 6 years. I never heard my daddy complain about "burned biscuits" for supper. They had a wonderful relationship (not perfect, but wonderful). They always treated each other with dignity and respect. I can remember times when I wanted to do something, and of course I had to get permission from my Dad. I would approach Mom about discussing it. She often said, "Not right now, This is not a good time." Of course, I was impatient to get a reply. She would say, "You can ask now and get a definite NO, or you can wait a little while and possibly get a YES! Without realizing it, I got two lessons for the price of one. I learned respect, and patience. I also learned that my Dad was the head of our family, as Christ is head of the church. My Mom and Dad both set truly selfless, Godly examples for their children. We learned to "do as they did." I tell my Mom quite often that I am glad God let me be "borned" into her family instead of some others I know about! And I mean that!!

So I would like to share the following with you.

BURNED BISCUITS
When I was a little child, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when> she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my Dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my Dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom> and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on> that biscuit and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom apologize to my Dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Baby, I love burned biscuits." Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - A little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!" You know, life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect people. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship. And that's my prayer for you today that you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship! "Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

If I could live my life over

2009-10-30T09:47:00.001-05:00

If I could live my life over---there are a few things I would do different.

I would do less criticizing, and more encouraging.

I would tell my children more often how much I love them, and how proud I am of the choices they have made (mostly!) (:-), especially their wives and the grandchildren they have blessed us with.

I would save the arguments for important things; things that affect their character, work ethic, or eternal destiny. Not what they would wear today, whether they cleaned their plate, or scrubbed behind their ears.

I would listen more and advise less.

I would tell my husband EVERY DAY, how fortunate I am to have married him. He has been such a good provider, an encouraging father (I don't think I have ever heard a critical word come out of his mouth), patient beyond measure, and generous to a fault sometimes.

I would read my Bible more, pray more, REALLY work on developing a RELATIONSHIP with Christ sooner.

I would be kinder to those who were not especially kind to me, especially those students I had in school who seemed to get on my VERY LAST NERVE!! I have learned that what goes around, comes around!!

I would choose to have a happy heart!

I would have my grandchildren first!!

Reason and Purpose

2009-10-29T14:31:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I have really struggled recently with fear and doubt. I was re-reading an article by Joyce Meyer which has some encouraging words to remind us that we are not in control of anything in our lives, except our will, to trust God or not trust Him. Christ understands our fear and doubt. Joyce says," He was more than likely battling doubt and fear when He was on the cross, crying out to His Father, "Why have you forsaken me?" This was a battle he had to win in order to finish the work He came to do.
She says, "you and I have to win this same battle in order to finish the work the Father has called us to do. If we are determined to fulfill the purposes of God for our lives, we must resist giving in to fear and push through even if we have to do it afraid...Jesus determined that He would do what God asked of Him no matter what the cost. Once we know that God has asked us to do something, the we too must determine to do it--no matter the cost. Like Jesus, we must resist the spirit of doubt and fear and the accusations the enemy send our way."
I cannot say that I fully KNOW the purposes of God in my present circumstances. I do know that it His desire that His children be a reflection of Himself. I hope that in some measure I have accomplished that. I is not easy to trust God when circumstances do not confirm what we desire. BUT I KNOW God has a reason and purpose for everything that He allows in our lives. I do not believe He brought this illness, but He certainly has allowed it or He would not be God. Hopefully, I am learning to trust Him day by day for what He wants to accomplish in my life.

Niagara Falls

2009-10-21T11:19:00.002-05:00

Niagara Falls

Just wanted to give a quick update from our trip to Niagara Falls, Ont., Canada. We had a wonderful trip, no "bumps" in the road. The weather was beautiful, as was the scenery. What a spectacular place, especially this time of the year with all the fall foliage!! You can look at all the pictures in the world of this place and never comprehend the majesty of God's creation there, especially with the fall colors as a background for those magnificent falls. We stayed at the Embassy Suites Hotel, WONDERFUL accommodations, delicious food (I think I gained about 10 pounds while I was gone), and a spectacular view from the 37th floor overlooking the Falls. It was a very relaxing week, and I had opportunity to see some of my dad's family for a little while. We had dinner one evening with my Aunt Nancilu and her family. It was really nice to have a short visit with them. As you might expect, I had time to do a little reading while I was gone. As a result, I have some things I hope to share soon. In the meantime, I have a little facial surgery scheduled for today, to remove a possible skin cancer. Gordon continues to be troubled with intense pain in his shoulder and down his legs. They are concerned that he may have a pinched nerve in addition to these other problems he has had. Please continue to pray for his recovery. More later, hopefully.

GOOD REPORT!

2009-10-08T06:30:00.000-05:00

I had an appointment with my Dr. this morning to get results from my most recent MRI. He says that everything still looks good, no change in the size of my tumor. It is still there but not growing, which is what they are hoping to achieve. I will praise the Lord and accept this as a GOOD REPORT!! Looking back over my previous blogs, I see evidence that God has heard and answered my prayer. Repeatedly I see, "Good report" ; "Another good report"; and now this time another "GOOD REPORT!" A certain reminder that God is faithful, concerned about His children, ever ready to answer our prayer, maybe not in the way we ask, but He answers! That is the subject of another blog!

We are leaving Saturday morning for Niagara Falls, with some friends from church. I wouldn't really count on this until I got the report from my doctor today, and had him check my shingles outbreak, which seems to be clearing up. Hope to see my Dad's sister, Nancilu, while we are in the area. She lives near Buffalo.

Gordon has had a third series of pain shots in his neck. He says he thinks they are helping, but he still has quite a lot of pain in his neck. I am the one who has been sick, but he is the one who has suffered! And of course this business (or lack thereof) is no help!! I don't really know what is going on with him, but something is definitely weighing on his mind. Please pray for God's will to be accomplished in our lives together, then maybe healing will come. Thank you so much for the outpouring of love, concern, and prayers. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have such a network of people who care about us. Is there a better place for us to be?

Would like to share something I wrote a few weeks back when I was really struggling for a place of peace. Hope it will minister to you in some way.

I have had several restless nights this week, concerned about my health, Gordon's ability to cope with all of this, and of course the current financial crisis all of us are experiencing. I must admit, that sometimes it is difficult to trust God, and to find that peace we all so desperately need.
Some dear friends gave me a book sometime ago, Joy for the journey, a women's book of joyful promises. One excerpt in it from Joni Eareckson Tada's book, Seeking God says, "Whether it's a financial crunch, a sudden illness, or a personal defeat, if you fix your heart on praise to God, then you have offered a sacrifice. If you've ever cried during those heartbreaking difficulties, 'Lord, I will hope in you and praise you more and more,' then you have offered words that have cost you plenty. Praise in those circumstances is painful...

I've have been told that the Hebrew word for awaiting means 'quiet trust.' Those words don't sparkle with effervescence. It's like saying, "I have prayed about this burden, and now, Lord, I will quietly wait on You even before I see the answer. I expect it. And this is my sacrifice of praise to you--I believe and trust."

Please remember this: Most of the verses written about praise in God's Word were voiced by people faced with crushing heartaches, injustice, treachery, slander, and scores of other difficult situations. They knew the sacrifice of praise was a key to victory on their spiritual journey."

Isa 26:3-4) You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
4 Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.
Isa 12:2) Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."

Phil 4:4-9) 4) Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5) Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7) And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9) Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I long for the peace this passage speaks about. I believe the only way to receive that is to praise God in spite of my circumstances, think right (righteous) thoughts, be thankful for the good and the bad (difficult) things in my life, and practice (do) what God has called us to do. We do not have to have a Damascas Road experience to hear from God. He calls us daily to influence those we come in contact with. And we do--either for good or bad. We should all ask God in the morning to direct our lives and actions in such a way as to reflect his character to others. Then in
the evening, ask ourselves if we have done that.

I thank God for the opportunity to share these thoughts through this blog. It is my fervent prayer that something I have shared will encourage others.

Garden of Hope

2009-10-03T19:39:00.000-05:00

I have not posted anything for a few days, because I have been so busy. Had a wonderful opportunity to share my story through the Garden of Hope at Huntsville's Botanical Gardens. It was a heartwarming, therapeutic, and humbling experience. This garden is sponsored by Intergraph Corp. of Huntsville, a company that has had more than its share of cancer victims. They have invested in an area of the garden that highlights cancer survivors, and gives them an opportunity to share their journey. I believe I shared the website in an earlier post. It has been updated with the current honorees, including mine.

Last Saturday, I met with Nikki Southers from Huntsville's Botanical Gardens, and a HOST of volunteers to plant my garden spot. I took a few personal garden statuaries from my yard to be displayed in the garden site. The garden spot is being shared with two other ladies from the Huntsville area as well.

Tuesday morning there was a formal dedication with lunch following, for those who attended, mostly family and a few very close friends. There was a very complimentary article in Wednesday's Huntsville Times, as well as a short segment on Chanel 48 News, Tuesday evening.
I feel so blessed to have been able to participate in this event. I am thankful to Intergraph Corp. and to Huntsville's Botanical Gardens for making this possible, and to all of those whose detailed attention made this such a gratifying experience.

I believe this experience is just one more avenue God has given me to share His faithfulness to us during difficult times. I hope those who read this and visit the garden site will leave with a sense of hope and faith, remembering that these bright cheerful pansies that weather the hardships of winter are a reminder of the hope we have in Christ, the only true Light in our world, and the One who can help us weather the winters of our soul.

Garden of Hope

2009-09-24T13:21:00.000-05:00

I have been invited to participate in the Garden of hope (http://www.hsvbg.org/gardens/gardenofhope.htm), a section of Huntsville's Botanical Gardens sponsored by Intergraph Corp. (http://www.intergraphfoundation.org/ ) for cancer patients and survivors. It has been a real honor for me, and I am grateful for the opportunity to share my story with others.

I talked with a lady from the Atlanta office last week about my experience, had a photograph made and met with a lady from the garden to select flowers and plan the site. I will be able to take some of my personal statuaries to display at the site. The garden plot will be shared by 2 other participants. Our biographical sketches will be displayed along with our picture. When our tenure is over in the spring, our plaques will be retired to a sanctuary area adjacent to the garden plot.

The biographical sketch follows:
"Annalie Maynard
Upon waking every morning, Annalie Maynard does something she, a 62-year-old grandmother, never did before she was diagnosed with a glioblastoma brain tumor in March 2008 – she takes some time to sit quietly, pray, and reflect on her life. Annalie had experienced persistent headaches before she consulted her doctor, who then recommended a CT scan indicating the glioblastoma was present in the back center portion of her brain. In April, 2008, Annalie underwent surgery, which successfully removed much of the tumor, and two months later, began radiation therapy. Throughout her journey with cancer, Annalie has found solace in her faith in God and has re-evaluated how she spends her days.

Annalie currently takes maintenance medication to ensure the cancer does not grow, and also regularly meets with a brain cancer support group. She continues to receive good reports from her doctors, a blessing she attributes to her trust in God and also the flood of support and love she receives from her friends and family – husband Gordon, sons Todd and Brant, their very supportive wives, Brandy and Elesha, and grandchildren Dakota, Gavin, and Sarah Grace.
Annalie, very active in her church and community, maintains that the interruption to her routine has been her biggest struggle in her fight against cancer. While she looks forward to regaining her energy, Annalie chooses not to dwell on the negative aspects of her experience. "When I get melancholy, anxious or frustrated, I stop and count my blessings and that puts things in perspective."

Owing to her love of bird watching, Annalie has chosen to decorate her garden with some personal garden statuaries. A retired librarian and schoolteacher, Annalie is accustomed to teaching others. She hopes her cancer journey will help others see that God is faithful, especially during our hour of tribulation."

This experience has been a real honor for me, and I would like to give personal thanks all those who have made this possible, especially Theresa Harding, who works at Intergraph, is a cancer survivor herself, and also a previous participant in the Garden of Hope. She is my daughter-in-law, Brandy's, aunt. I am so thankful for the opportunity she has given me to share my experience with others.

Measure of Life

2009-09-19T07:20:00.000-05:00

I am a Child of God, a daughter, a wife, a Mom, a daughter-in-law, a sister, an aunt, a grandma, a retired school teacher. My life has been and continues to be measured by these relationships, and occupations. BUT my life these days is measured by such phrases as before and after my brain tumor. It is measured by doctor's appointments, cycles of chemotherapy, and MRIs. It is measured by periods of anxiety and worry, followed by periods of encouragement and hopefulness. It is measured by encouraging words from family and friends, and beautiful thoughtful "thinking of you" cards sent in the mail. My life is measured by such phrases as, "You look really good!", making me wonder sometimes what people think I should look like (:-), and what did you do to loose all that weight??? I ask them if they would like to try my "diet"???
In the final analysis, what is the measure of our life? Is it the relationships we have had, the personal accomplishments we have achieved? Is it our title or salary? After I had my first surgery, I woke up in the recovery room and there stood a young lady who was a former student of mine. I remember thinking, "Dear Lord, I hope I was nice to her in school. If not, this would be a good place for her to get even!" Fortunately, she remembered the nice things I had done, and she took very good care of me. I like to think that was one of my rewards.
So much of our life is spent in doing--we are who we are because of what we do. I believe God expects us to do, but one thing this cancer lesson has taught me is that He really wants us to BE. We are all familiar with the story of Mary and Martha. Lk. 10:38 "As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
Which one of these women captured the heart of Jesus? Why? I am afraid that there have been too many times in my life when I have not "chosen what is better." Thank God He is Gracious and merciful and gives us more than one chance. That in itself is a life God rewards.
We have been doing a video study of John Bevere's book, Honor's Reward. It is a very good study that focuses on our responsibility for promoting the Kingdom of God. He makes it very clear that our salvation is not based on our works. That is free by the grace of God. But the rewards we receive in this life, and when we get to heaven, will be based on what we do for His Kingdom here on earth, now.
I hope and pray that my reward will be great, but I am afraid I have fallen short of what God has called me to do on many occasions. I believe one of the things God has called me to do is to share my journey. As I said before, when we speak or write, we must assume that we have something worthwhile to share, and we have to believe someone wants to hear or read it. I would not be presumptuous enough to take credit for what I have shared, but believe God has laid these things upon my heart, and hope it will be an encouragement to someone else.

Real Joy

2009-09-06T08:07:00.000-05:00

When my children were small and they began pouting about something, I would tell them that they could "choose to have a happy heart" in spite of their disappointment or frustration about something. I tell my grandchildren the same thing. Not too long ago, I was a little upset myself about something, and Gordon said to me. "Do what you tell the children all the time. Choose to have a happy heart!!" Whatever you say, ALWAYS comes home to roost!!

There is a difference in joy and happiness. Joy is defined as the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires. As Christians we understand that our circumstances can never restrain us from achieving what we desire, an eternal relationship with God Almighty. Happiness is defined as favored by luck or fortune. It seems to me that happiness hinges on external circumstances or things, while joy relates to our response to those things. We can be joyful, even when our circumstances are difficult (we are not happy!).

There are many things in our lives that can rob us of happiness, and steal our joy. Mary Hampton in her book, Tea and Inspiration, comments on the familiar story of Mary and Martha from Lk. 10:38-42, "I would like to believe that I have a heart like Mary's, one that stops to listen to God whenever the opportunity arises. I am afraid though, that I probably come much closer to being like Martha. Hurrying about, planning, preparing, fixing, organizing, making lists and worrying. Will it all get done? "It" can be my grocery shopping, the laundry, the meal for the potluck supper later on, the Bible study lesson, my latest craft project, etc., etc., etc.
These thoughts can overtake me during church, while having my devotions, in the midst of prayer--almost anywhere, the still, small voice of the Lord can get drowned out by the shouts of living in the sunset of the twentieth century.

I still believe that the planning, preparing, fixing, and organizing is important. I believe it is important to God. After all, I am trying to be faithful to do well the tasks He has set before me. I need to remember, though, that by far the most important thing I can do is to take the time to sit at Jesus' feet and really listen."

I would like to think I too have a heart like Mary's, but I am afraid I too am more like Martha. It is my prayer too that I will be more attentive to spending time with God, to really listening to what He is trying to tell me. I can personally attest that God CAN get our attention (external circumstances). E.B. Pusey (1800-1882) wrote, "This, then is of faith, that everything, the very least, or what seems to us great, every change of the seasons, everything which touches us in mind, body, or estate, whether brought about through this outward senseless nature, or by the will of man, good or bad, is overruled to each of us by the all-holy and all-loving will of God. Whatever befalls us, however it befalls us, we must receive as the will of God. If it befalls us through man's negligence, or ill-will, or anger, still it is, in even the least circumstance, to us, the will of God. For if the least thing could happen to us without God's permission, it would be something out of God's control. God's providence or His love would not be what they are. Almighty God Himself would not be the same God; not the God whom we believe, adore, and love."

Real joy comes in knowing that in whatever circumstances we find ourselves, God is still in control of our lives. Whatever the outcome for our lives is, whether short of long (and I pray for a long life), does not change who God is, or what He is willing to do in our lives.

John Bevere in his book Honor's reward says this about circumstances: "Scripture reveals a truth that is hard to grasp: often God will send us what we need in a package we don't want. Why? To let us know He's God and we cannot second-guess Him. We cannot search for answers merely with our heads; we must seek Him and His provision with our hearts. Scripture cannot be interpreted from our limited human mental understanding. There must be a breath of the spirit of God. He alone gives wise counsel and correct application.

A Good Day

2009-08-29T07:54:00.000-05:00

Have had a GOOD DAY today! My Uncle J.C. use to say, "Today is a great day, the best day ever!." I am not so sure I can say that just yet, but today has been a better day than I have had for quite some time. I have felt better physically, and my emotions have been more under control. I have cleaned "2 rooms and a path" today! It is the first time I have done any significant house cleaning in a long time. Praise the LORD!! For the energy to clean!!

I have some things I believe God wants me to share, but it is late and I am tired. I hope to post them in a few days. Thanks for ALL of you who continue to pray for me. I believe God IS healing me!
Annalie

Good Report

2009-08-15T08:07:00.000-05:00

Praise the Lord for another GOOD REPORT!! I saw Dr. Dang today. He said the MRI still looks good. He consulted with Dr. Edgeworth in Nashville, who did my surgery. They have recommended that I continue the Temodar (oral chemo) 5 days out of the month. I am trying to be happy about that (:-). It seems like such a small concern in the grand scheme of things, but in trying to be transparent about my life, I'll have to say I am not looking forward to it. I AM thankful that there is something I can do, but I also know that God can do more, AND I am trusting that He will do just that. I believe He helps those who help themselves as well, and I think it would be foolish of me to ditch this treatment, when it seems to be helping. I do believe that one of God's gifts is the healing hands of the medical profession, and I pray for them every week. My eyes have really been opened to the load they bear since all of this has happened to us.

I shared earlier that I have had a few "bad" days recently, probably more emotional than physical, especially since I got such a good report today. I want God to heal me. I do not understand why He has not. I am searching my soul to see if there is something on my part that is hindering this process. I will have to say that one good thing from all of this is that I have recognized my need for a more intimate relationship with Him. I cannot imagine facing this without God's help.

In some of my previous blogs I have shared some excerpts from Elizabeth Elliot's A path through suffering. She discusses how adversity affects our lives. We can let the winds of adversity wreck our lives, or we can come to the "Peace speaker" and endure the storm, KNOWING that He is in control of every element in our lives, if we allow it.

I have learned that adversity comes when we least expect it. I have never been sick in my life. I do not know how to be a patient, and I am afraid I am not a very good one. I was "rocking along" enjoying the comforts of a nice home, a loving husband, 2 sons who have given me relatively little trouble growing up and brought me 2 wonderful daughters-in-love, and 3 beautiful, adorable grandchildren. Life was good. I was "serving the Lord," I thought to the best of my ability, when WHAM. Out of the clear blue, comes this brain tumor. Not just any old brain tumor, but a very aggressive one, AND in a spot that is very difficult to treat! None of this was a surprise to God! He knew ALL ABOUT IT!! He has been faithful to carry me through so far, and I believe He is able to "keep that which I have committed to Him."

I had a little incident that happened last week that reminded me of God's faithfulness even in the small things of our lives. We had a wind storm that littered the patio and driveway with leaves and twigs. I was trying clean it up with a blower. Every time I would get an area clean, the wind would blow the debris back onto the clean part. I just sat the blower down and asked God to still the wind until I could get the work done. The wind obeyed, not me, but Him! It took me about 30 min. to finish my work. Then I sat down in the same spot and enjoyed my clean patio and the breeze that God restored. What first brought adversity, later brought pleasure.

I cannot imagine what pleasure this adversity will bring in my life, but I am convinced that somehow it will. If not in this life, certainly the one to come. I have had the pleasure of seeing people's care and concern. I have had the pleasure of being ministered to spiritually by sisters and brothers in the Lord. I have had the pleasure of being reminded that my husband and family loves me dearly. How could one person be so blessed?

God has spoken to me audibly only once in my life, but He has impressed some pretty profound truths into my spirit. He dropped this into my spirit after a morning of intense (for me) labor, cleaning up after a storm. He will do the same for us if we will let Him--clean up after the storm!

Please continue to pray for Gordon. He is having a VERY DIFFICULT time, especially with continued pain after his surgery. Pray for God to have His way in his life.
Thank you so much for your continued prayers and concern for me. I could not make it through without the Lord and wonderful friends like you.

Abiding

2009-08-10T22:17:00.001-05:00

ABIDING

I have a Martin House that has been up in front of my house for at least 6-8 years. I love these little birds. They abound near water. Their acrobatic antics are very entertaining as they catch insects in flight, and they have a very unique chirp. They are beautiful, graceful birds, and bring joy to my heart, when I have the opportunity to watch them. They however, have refused my hospitality. There have been a few curious ones who have investigated the house but chosen not to dwell there. I wonder why. We are not physically near a source of water, although there is a creek across the highway from our house. And the Flint River is less that 1 mile from our house. The mosquitoes have been prolific in my yard this summer, so one would think there is plenty of water and food for these beautiful creatures. We also have a hawk in residence in this area. He occasionally has "breakfast" at my birdfeeders, and I am not talking about birdseed!! So that may contribute to their scarcity. Whatever the reason, they have snubbed my hospitality.

I would love for these graceful birds to dwell in the house I have provided for them, so much so that I have even prayed that God would send some to do just that. So far, no birds.

My devotions this week have dealt a lot with dwelling and abiding in God and His presence, and what benefits that provides for us. As is the case with my little birds, no matter how much He wants us to dwell, we are the only ones who can do it. We can accept or reject His invitation. We must CHOOSE our dwelling place. It can be IN CHRIST and we can enjoy the peace and security of knowing He cares for us. Or we can choose to dwell away from God and suffer the restlessness, anxiety, worry, depression and all that goes with it. God wants us to dwell with him, but He is a perfect gentleman, and He will not force something upon us that we are not willing to do. He waits, patiently, with outstretched arms, for us to come to the end of our rope and realize that He is what we need.

The first couple of years my Martin house was up, these beautiful creatures showed was NO INTEREST in dwelling there. I am sure some of us can relate this to a time in our lives when we were not interested in dwelling in God or having His Holy Spirit dwell in us.

Then recently, these beautiful, graceful birds seem to have been interested, but have not taken up residence. They have come to visit, perched on the little porches, gone in and investigated, then flown away. I was very disappointed they chose not to dwell with me. I wonder how many times we treat God this way. We have a passive interest in Him, or the benefits we can receive from Him, but we are not willing to dwell with Him. We do not recognize that He is Jehovah Shammah--My abiding presence (Ezek 48:35). From this experience, I think I understand in some measure how disappointed God feels, when we snub His invitation. However, that doesn't change His love for us. As I have sat on my porch and waited hopefully for some indication that these beautiful creatures might come and dwell with me, I thought about how our Heavenly Father does the same. The difference is that He is actively involve in drawing us through His Holy Spirit (Jn.6:44). Verse 45 further admonishes that "Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from Him comes to me." So if we listen and learn, we are compelled to act. The more I learn about Him the more I want to dwell in His presence.

There is comfort and reassurance from God that He blesses us when we abide (dwell) in Him (v. 40--'For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in Him shall have eternal life."
Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. [a]
2 I will say [b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

Just this one passage that reminds of of the peace and comfort that comes from abiding in God's presence. We are the ones who control whether or not we abide. Especially in light of the present economic and political turmoil our country and the world is facing, I am so thankful I can choose to abide. I do not know how people deal with the day-to-day "stuff" in their lives without God. I am SO THANKFUL for His patience, unconditional love, and bountiful mercy extended to my life; and that He is my refuge in time of need!

Newest MRI

2009-08-07T23:05:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update to let everyone know that I had an MRI today. Will not know the results until I see the doctor next week. I have felt pretty good the past several days, so hope that is an indication that everything is O.K. Thank you so much for your continued prayers. I am trusting God to COMPLETELY heal me.

God is faithful to His Word

2009-08-03T06:23:00.000-05:00

I have not posted anything for my blog recently for lack of time and motivation. I have had my grandchildren quite a bit this past week, which I LOVE!! But it certainly constrains my "free time" of which I have NO COMPLAINT. Those of you who are grandparents understand why God gave children to young people, as do I. You also have experienced the joy of seeing your own children reflected in their personalities. I can confirm that "Children (and grandchildren) ARE a blessing from the Lord!!"
I have had a few difficult days as well in recent weeks, hence my lack of motivation for blogging. I do love to share the positive things in my life rather than the negative, but I believe God wants me to be completely transparent about my life, and so I am trying to do that. I do think I have had some physical issues, but a lot of my difficulty has been emotional. I have a dear friend at church, Eula Voiles, who told me that God spoke to her and said I have a spirit of fear in me. If this lady says God spoke to her, He spoke to her!!! I believe her too, because even before she said this, I was waking up at night worrying about things I have NEVER worried about before...things that concern me and my family that I can do NOTHING about (except pray, which I am). I have also worried about things that do not personally concern us, that I most certainly cannot control. Those of you who know me, know that I have never been consumed by worry, so there! I have given you something to pray about!!
I had lunch with Eula this week and she gave me an Israeli Prayer Shawl called a Talhit. She explained the significance of the scriptures sewn into it and the Tzitzit (tassels) along the edge.I has been a point of contact for me to have something concrete to express my faith in God's healing for my body and provision for my mind and soul.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank EVERY ONE of you who have sewn into my life spiritually. Many of you have been tangible blessings to my life. And many of you have been mighty prayer warriors for me too. I cannot tell you how thankful I am to have such a network of friends. It has certainly made a difference in my life!
I would like to share a segment from my Bible study this week. Another dear friend from church (Nancy Rush, one of our motorcycle riding buddies!) gave me The Women's Devotional Guide to the Bible. I was reading from Malachi 3:14-18 which paints an accurate picture of where we (Christians in an increasingly Godless society) are today,which is part of my anxiety.
14 Ye have said, It is vain to serve God; and what profit is it that we have kept his charge, and that we have walked mournfully before Jehovah of hosts?
15 And now we call the proud happy; yea, they that work wickedness are built up; yea, they tempt God, and escape.
16 Then they that feared Jehovah spake one with another; and Jehovah hearkened, and heard, and a book of remembrance was written before him, for them that feared Jehovah, and that thought upon his name.
17 And they shall be mine, saith Jehovah of hosts, even mine own possession, in the day that I make; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him.
18 Then shall ye return and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not.
If those of us who fear the Lord will begin speaking to one another (encouraging each other, reminding each other of our place in the Lord, reflecting upon God's goodness to us in the past, His faithfulness to us, etc.), Jehova will hearken (He will listen!). Read the rest of the story. God is faithful to His Word. If we do our part, He will do His part!!
I will sign off by "borrowing" an expression from my mother's brother, Uncle J.C. "Today is a GREAT DAY, the best day ever! Just couldn't be better!!

Update on Gavin and Parker

2009-07-25T22:30:00.002-05:00

Just want to thank you so much for your prayers. Gavin is better. They are treating him for asthma - breathing treatments several times a day. He is feeling better but still not quite up to par. Thank you for continuing to pray for him.

Little Parker is doing better too. A copy of the email I received from his grandma: "God is so good to help that little stinker. He had an amazing turn last night and is able to open his eyes; he's down running around & getting into everything this morning. Going from a ventilator on Sat. to running the halls this morning. God is good!!!! Thank you for your words of encouragement and your prayers"

Additional prayer

2009-07-23T17:43:00.003-05:00

Please pray for our little Gavin. He went to the doctor today. Has a hyperinflated lung, from his pneumonia I suppose, and is running a fever again. Please pray that God will heal his little body, swiftly and completely. Thank you so much.
Annalie

Prayer request

2009-07-23T11:16:00.002-05:00

Please pray for our grandson, Gavin. He was hospitalized last weekend with pneumonia. He was discharged Monday but has had a fever overnight of 102. He looks so healthy, but has had a few health issues. Please pray for God's healing power in his little life.

Also a friend of our in Nashville, John and Sheree Wooten . Their grandson, Parker has been hospitalized with severe seizures. They cannot figure out what is causing them. He is on large doses of fenabarbitol. Please pray for this precious family. Thanks for your prayers. Will write more later.

Just received an email from Sheree that Parker is much better. I am sure they would appreciate your continued prayers.

Update on Gordon's surgery

2009-07-09T10:31:00.000-05:00

Well, we survived the surgery. Stayed in the hospital 1 extra day as the doctors were concerned about some pain in Gordon's chest, post-surgery. They did two EKGs and blood work, which indicated no heart issues, but he continued to have some pain for several days. He seems to be mending nicely. Has quite a long incision at the back of his neck. The procedure he actually had done, removed some of the hardware (screws and nuts) he had from his previous surgery. His spine has shifted and the nerve in his neck was laying against some of the hardware. He may possibly have some permanent nerve damage, indicated by numbness in his shoulder and arm, which continues. Please pray that God will heal him COMPLETELY. He (Gordon) has had a LOT to deal with these past few months, and he has a very difficult time laying it all in God's hands. I know God is faithful, AND He is ABLE to take care of all of this.

My Mom's brother, Uncle J.C. went to be with the Lord on July 2. His daughter sent the following message, which so aptly expresses his attitude toward life. I only HOPE I can accept all that comes to me with the same attitude and peace of mind that he had.

This is the final Frinkogram coming from Jane and Stephen instead of JC.

Today Daddy traveled the last part of his journey in this wonderful world. He never let his cancer get him down, kept a positive outlook on life, entertained until the end, enjoyed people, and loved having all of you as his friends and family.

Every part of his journey on Earth was "great" and he never failed to share how lucky he had been throughout his entire life. He attributed his good fortune to you, his friends and family. Cancer brought him one last adventure and unfortunately it had an end that was not planned. Everyday he has said that it was his greatest day ever. Today was his "greatest day ever!!!!!!!!" We can only imagine the fun he is having with old friends and family as they tell their stories and share fond memories in heaven. He left peacefully and with the loving care of a wonderful Hospice team. As he has been saying the past two weeks... "If you get a chance to work with Hospice, sign up because they are terrific!!!!!!!!"

As Daddy would say... "Thank you, thank you, thank you for being my friends, I can't stop thanking you" Please keep in touch with us. Your friendships with our family made us what we all are today.

My Uncle J.C. was a wonderful example of selflessness and a positive attitude. He could not have maintained this without God's help. He set a wonderful example for his friends and family, and I KNOW God used his circumstances to bless others.

I have been reading from a devotional called Experiencing God by Henry T. and Richard Blackaby. I would like to share a comment on Phil. 1:12, "But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which have happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel."

There are two ways to look at every situation: How it will affect you and how it will affect God's kingdom. The apostle Paul was always concerned with how his circumstances might aid the spreading of the gospel...Regardless of his circumstance, Paul's concern was how he could use his current situation to tell others of God's good news of salvation.

Often when we encounter a new situation, our first thoughts are not about God's kingdom. When we face a crisis, we can become angry of fearful for our own well-being, rather than looking to see what God intends to do through our circumstances. If we remain self-centered we will miss so much of what God could do through our experiences, both for us and for those around us. "

It is my prayer that God's power will be manifested in my circumstances and that He will use them to show others the difference Christ's presence can make in our lives.

Vacation recap

2009-06-30T12:10:00.001-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted anything for awhile. We had a WONDERFUL time in N.C. with our family, and my Mom's family. A sad note is that my mother's only living sibling, (94 years young) is failing quickly. He was diagnosed with cancer not long ago, but his heart is the real problem now, which may be a blessing. Unless God intervenes, he will not be with us for long. He has been such a wonderful example of selflessness for our family. He has spent his life investing it others, literally. I tell everyone, if it wasn't for him, there would be none of us.

He had the foresight to take advantage of opportunities that came to him, and shared them with his family. Growing up during the Great Depression, he learned the value of hard work, and good management of resources. He encouraged his siblings to do the same. He shared every opportunity he had with others in his family. He came to Auburn to teach Alabama farmers how to grow tobacco. My Mom came to live with him, and met my Dad who was attending Auburn University at the time. The rest is history. Thus, if it weren't for Uncle J.C., there wouldn't have been 4 little Butlers!!

I continue to feel pretty well, although I have had a few days that my energy level has not been that good. I hope that is all that it is. The trip to N.C. was pretty taxing, but I made it fine. Was pretty exhausted for a day or two. I continue to be able to help out with the grandchildren, with the help of some very capable teenagers, periodically.

Gordon is having neck surgery on Wed. for the third time. This surgery is to correct a problem in a different spot on his neck. The shoulder surgery he had is not mending well because his spine has shifted and the hardware from the first neck surgery is pressing against the nerve in his neck. He has been in excruciating pain. Please pray that this surgery is successful and that his recovery is speedy and complete.

Will blog more later as it is late. Thanks for your continued prayers.

Good Report

2009-06-10T06:31:00.000-05:00

I had a doctor's appointment today and PRAISE GOD!! I got a good report. They only did blood work today, but Michelle (the PA whom I LOVE) said my blood count was normal. It has been pretty low a few times in the past. I do not have to see them again for one month. I have been going every 2 weeks since I started my treatment. I will consider this affirmation that God is healing me!

I understood Dr. Dang to say last month that this month was my last chemo treatment. I am going to have to take 2 more months of it, which I am not looking forward to, but it could certainly be worse. I have to take this for 1 year, and they don't count the doses I had while taking radiation, so that means I have two more rounds to go, July and August. Oh well!!

Don't know if I will have a chance to post anything else this week. We are leaving Sat. morning for a week at the beach in N.C. with all my mother's family, and a few in-laws too. What fun we are planning. There's nothing more fun that a week at the beach with your grandchildren!! Thanks so much for your continued prayers.
Annalie

Raw

2009-06-09T03:15:00.001-05:00

This suits me to a T. Received this today from a daily devotional, Girlfriends and God. Some of you may be experiencing the same thing from different circumstances. Hope this will minister to you.

Raw

Psalm 6:6-7 (NLT) "I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out..."

If someone said that you had only six days to live, what would you do? What would you say?
I would watch my husband and my children as they slept, wondering how I got so lucky; wondering how God could love me so much to give me the miracle of love from an amazing man and two little boys. I would wonder how my husband could love me even when I was stubborn and prideful, and hope that he knew, even when I was at my worst, how much I adored him and didn't want to live without him.

I would wonder if my children would remember me or if they would only remember a to-do list of activities. Maybe they would remember the simple things like hot cocoa on a snowy day, blankies, and good night prayers and kisses. If I was gone in six days, would anyone know how much I loved God, how much He has changed my life, and how much I believe that He can and will do that for anyone.

Eighteen months ago, I wrote this in a tear-covered journal after I found out that one of my dearest friends (in her thirties with two small children) was told that if the cancer didn't kill her, the surgery (which she would have in six days) very possibly would. I was emotionally raw after throwing myself on the floor in front of God, kicking, screaming, and begging Him to save her.
Today, I wait for a phone call from a friend who is having a biopsy done. I'm praying that it is not cancer. Tomorrow, I will sit in a hospital waiting room while another friend faces a double mastectomy at the age of 40. Daily, I am reminded of many people in our community and in our church that have lost their jobs, their houses, or their marriages.

In Psalm 6, the writer, David, states that he was worn out by crying and that his vision was blurred by grief. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt "emotionally raw?" Maybe you are feeling that way right now as you read these words. I have only one thing to say, "Don't let go!"

Life can leave you spinning in uncertainty and loneliness. Discouragement and brokenness can lead you to believe that there is no way to put the pieces back together. But don't let go!
God awaits your cries for help. He wants to hear your "emotionally raw" prayers that ask Him to rescue you from the pit of despair. He wants to guide and direct you to higher ground. He wants to tell you that you are loved and that there is hope for your future.

In many of the Psalms that David wrote, he cried out his afflictions and suffering to the Lord. Even in his anguish, David always affirmed his trust in the Lord's power to save and heal (Psalm 6, 22, 63, 142...). This is because David knew from experience that when he felt emotionally raw, left without answers or an escape plan, His Father in Heaven would free him from the prison of defeat.

Would you like to know how the story ended for my friend who was told she may only have six days to live? When the surgeons opened her up, they found that there was NO cancer. It had completely disappeared! Even though my friend's doctor was not a Christian, he declared my friend a walking miracle of God.

Hold on my friend! You may not see the evidence of your miracle yet, but God is at work in your life!

Today, pray whatever is on your mind. Whether you are feeling emotionally raw or emotionally joyous, God wants to listen and He will respond. You are not alone!
Lord, I pray for the incredible woman that comes before You today with a prayer of grief, fear, discouragement, or desperation. I partner with her in prayer, knowing You will deliver her, and bring her the resources that she needs to get out of the pit. We will believe together that all things are possible through You, Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. I pray encouragement, purpose, love, joy, and peace over her as she pours her heart out to You. Thank You for hearing and acting on her behalf.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.

Spend some time reading Psalms. If you do not have a Bible handy, go to www.crosswalk.com and enter "Psalm" under "Search the Bible" on the home page. Ask yourself, "Do I have anything in common with the writers?"
Pray for God's direction, comfort, and peace. Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." God is listening!
Ask for help! Ask God for help and then ask a friend, family, or church leader. There are people around you that God will use to bring the help you need. Remember, Ephesians 3:20 (NIV) teaches us that God desired to do "Immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine."

We all battle the lies of the enemy in one way or another. It seems that Satan knows and targets our weaknesses, trying to make us stumble, fall and quit the race. The days in which we now live are hard and it would be easy to give up hope. As Angela said, "Don't give up!" God is with you and He is for you. Even if you cannot see or understand what God is doing in your life right now, you can see and understand His heart by staying in the Word, praying consistently and sharing the load with others. Stand firm!

Fear vs Faith

2009-06-06T08:27:00.001-05:00

I am so sorry I have not posted anything for awhile. I have wanted to, but just have not found the time. Had a wonderful cruise with my three friends from church (minus one--she has claustrophobia and could not tolerate the confines of our cabin.) We had wonderful fellowship with her before and after the cruise. It was really a nice trip and it was nice to have no agenda for a few days. I really missed my babies, though.
Have had a few days that I have not really felt great. Don't know exactly what is going on. I hope it is simply fatigue. I feel better today than I have all week, but also started my last round of chemo today. I will be glad to finish with that, although it has not really been terribly bad. Things could certainly be worse.
I shared with you on my last blog the wonderful blessing a friend of mine gave me. I have another friend who also spoke into my life, that I have a "spirit of fear". I am afraid she is right because I have really been struggling lately with anxiety about things I have never worried about before now.
I realize that fear is the opposite of faith. I always felt like I had faith, and I have about most things. It somehow seems different, when you face the possibility of mortality square in the eye.
I do believe God. I believe every blessing that Kathy pronounced upon my life. I believe He is willing and able to heal me, but there are thoughts that haunt me in the dark hours of the night, that I KNOW I have no control over. Only God can deliver me from this anxiety, and I am trying my best to place myself in obedience to Him (to seek Him), so He can do whatever He will with my life.
AND THOSE WHO KNOW THY NAME WILL PUT THEIR TRUST IN THEE; FOR THOU, O LORD, HAST NOT FORSAKEN THOSE WHO SEEK THEE. PSALM 9:10
Psalm 33: 18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, 19 to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. 20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. 21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.
The following passage of scripture has become my mainstay. Psalm 91:5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. 9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge-10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. 11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; 12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
These promises are so encouraging, reminding me that God is concerned about every area of my life. But they come with some conditions. We must DWELL in the Most High. Dwell means "to live as a resident; to keep the attention directed." We cannot expect this kind of protection and provision if we only stop by to see God once in awhile. We must make Him our dwelling place. We must acknowledge who God is. Acknowledge means "to recognize the rights, authority, and status of." This implies the necessity of submission. We cannot expect this kind of protection and provision unless we are willing to submit to God's authority in our life.
Do you think it might just be coincidence that this was posted on a devotional site I looked at today?
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:2-8
I pray that God will truly be my DWELLING place, that I recognize His authority in my life, and that I will face these trials with perseverance, so that God's purpose will be fulfilled in my life.
Please pray for a young friend of ours, Tara Hogan, who has the same kind of tumor I do. She was diagnosed with this 4 years ago and has done really well until recently. The tumor has grown and they are going to perform a very tedious surgery in Birmingham on Tues. Please pray that God will be with her, with the physicians, and give her favor in this surgery, and that it will be successful. She is 27 years old, and does not have a very encouraging network of family support.

Above all I want to allow God to teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and with firm conviction that His will governs all.

Message from a friend

2009-05-22T07:07:00.001-05:00

I have a wonderful friend that God has placed in my life who has been a GREAT ENCOURAGER!! I would like to share something she sent to me recently. Praise the Lord! for people in our life who will speak what God lays on their hearts.

I am leaving today on trip with three wonderful ladies from my church. We will be cruising the Bahamas as part of the trip. Will blog more when I return.

Love you all!!

I have to tell you something that has been made very clear to me before and after writing this last devotion.
GOD WANTS TO BLESS YOU, ANNALIE! I mean, REALLY bless you so you are very aware of it! I don't know what He's going to do for you, but He wants to bless you! And I have to say again---I wrote this in one devotion---the word "bless" in Psalm 5:12 means---"to honor and exalt; to invoke God's favor upon; to bestow prosperity; to endow, as with a gift; to make happy; to guard and protect."

This has been on my mind so much that I just have to tell you. And I'm very serious! This is not one of those "good things people say just to make a person feel good." I KNOW without a doubt that it is the Lord dealing with me to pray for Him to bless you. I'm praying that---and for your healing. HE WANTS TO BLESS YOU!

Knowing you is a blessing for me. I'm not trying to flatter you, etc., but I have to tell you---the Lord has really laid (or layed--I am never sure about those two verbs. Ha!) you on my heart to pray for Him to bless you and do exceeding abundantly above all I can ask or think for you! (Forgive all the repetition, please.)

I pray God will fulfill EVERY desire in your heart, Annalie! You are someone special to me!
Kathy

P.S. This is so strong in my heart that if I could give you the blessing, I would. But whatever it is He wants to do, only God can do it.

Thoughts for today

2009-05-20T15:15:00.000-05:00

I talked with a dear friend today who commented that my blog seems a little fatalistic. She reminded me that God has not said He will not heal me, in fact, there are many scriptures which promise healing for us. There are also many that point out that if we hope to share in God's glory, we must also share in His suffering. Lest I give someone the wrong impression, I am NOT resigned to this illness in my body. I DO believe God for my healing, but I am also realizing that He has something He wants to accomplish in my life. The sooner I cooperate with that, the sooner I will receive His blessing. My blessing is a direct result of my obedience to Him.
Elizabeth Elliot reminds us that "Jesus' purpose in coming to our world could not be accomplished with His laying down His own life. 'I have come that men may have life, and may have it in all its fullness. I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep' (Jn. 10:10-11).
Each time the mystery of suffering touches us personally and all the cosmic questions arise afresh in our minds, we face the choice between faith (which accepts) and unbelief (which refuses to accept). There is only one faculty by which we may lay hold of this mystery. It is the faculty of faith, and 'faith is the fulcrum of moral and spiritual balance.'
I write as one who desperately needed a refuge. The bottom has dropped out of my world, as it were, more than once. What exactly, was going on? Where was I to turn? To God? Is He God or is He not? Does He love me or does He not? Am I adrift in chaos or is the word true that tells me I am an individual created, called, loved, and purposefully placed in a cosmos, on ordered universe, a universe designed, created, and completely under the control of a loving God and Father
I share her sentiments. I too desperately need a refuge. The bottom has dropped out of my world. It is a comfort to me to know that I do have a Good Shepherd. 'The word fits my need, for I am a sheep, helpless and bleating. He cannot forget one for whom He lays down His life'."
"Jeremy Taylor wrote, 'Shall there be mutiny among the flocks and herds, because their lord or their shepherd chooses their pastures, and suffers them not to wander into deserts and unknown ways?' I choose to believe, to surrender, to trust, and to accept. That much I can do. God than does what I can't do--'When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him.' (Is. 59:19)
As I said before, I am not resigned to this sentence given by the medical profession. I am trying to trust God each day to do what He will with my life. I do not want to wander into deserts and unknown ways. I am SO VERY thankful that my suffering is better and not worse! I continue to trust God daily to give me the resources to trust in Him. So far, He has!! I pray that my life will truly glorify Him.

Please pray for Gordon. He is the one who is REALLY suffering. He is in so much pain from his neck surgery. He went back to the doctor Tues. They think some of the hardware from the first surgery has come loose. The will probably have to do another surgery on his neck. He is scheduled for a myelogram on June 2 to see what is going on.

Purpose for this trial

2009-05-17T07:35:00.000-05:00

I have said in the past that I believe God has a purpose for this trial in my life. If I expect to share in Christ's reward, I must share in His suffering as well.
I wish there were some way I could contact Mrs. Elliot to let her know how encouraging her experiences have been to me, and I trust to those of you who are reading this as well.
Elizabeth Elliot writes of Amy Charmichael, "She learned to accept suffering, even to accept it with joy, and dying to her own natural reticence, 'held herself no longer for her own keeping, but only as something to be shared.' Her deaths, 'of so many kinds, have resulted in life, for me and for many thousands." (I will say the same for Elizabeth Elliot!)
"Continually, while still alive, we are being surrendered into the hands of death, for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be revealed in this mortal body of ours. Thus death is at work in us, and life in you." (2 Cor. 4:11-12)
All who bring souls to God and multiply His kingdom must do so through surrender and sacrifice. This is what loving God means, a continual offering, a pure readiness to give oneself away, a happy obedience. There is no question of, 'But what about me?' for the motivation is love. All interests, all impulses, all energies are subjugated to that supreme passion."
However, "There are so many forms of self to cling to--an insistence on my own judgment; confident in my own resources; an unconscious taking of my own way without even considering others; reluctance to hear a viewpoint opposed to my own; attempts to bring conversation around to my interests. If we ask the Lord to show our our selfishness, He will do it--gently, one thing at a time, with help to face and renounce it. But it must sometimes be hard. Our loving Savior understands that perfectly. It is against nature. The cross cuts deep.
Christ understands these temptations. "He has known them all, but he triumphed. 'I cannot act by myself,' He said. I judge as I am bidden, and my sentence is just, because my aim is not my own will, but the will of Him who sent me.' (Jn. 5:30)"

Reality

2009-05-13T23:28:00.001-05:00

I am sad, even angry sometimes about the possibility of my life being cut short. There are things I long to experience (my grandchildren growing up, for one) that I may never have the opportunity to experience now, faced with the reality of my disease. I keep searching for a reason, some sense of purpose in all of this. I do not understand the why and how of it all, but I do trust the hand of my omnipotent father who has a purpose for everything that comes into our lives.

Elizabeth Elliot writes, “Suffering gives us occasion to examine ourselves, adjust our priorities, reset our sights, and confess our sins. It is a discipline, administered by a loving heavenly Father who ‘lays the rod on every son whom he acknowledges…Discipline, no doubt, is never pleasant; at the time it seems painful, but in the end it yields for those who have been trained by it the peaceful harvest of an honest life (Heb. 12:6,8.11).’

Paul writes about his trouble in Asia, ‘this was meant to teach us not to place reliance on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead (2 Cor. 1:8-9).’ Suffering is meant for the correction of the sufferer himself. Did the great apostle need correction? Of course he did. He was tempted like the rest of us to place reliance on himself.

Suffering is also meant to help somebody else. Like all gifts, the gift of suffering is not for ourselves alone, but for the sake of the body of Christ. ‘Indeed, it is for your sake that all things are ordered, so that, as the abounding grace of God is shared by more and more, the greater may be the chorus of thanksgiving that ascends to the glory of God’ ( Cor. 4:15).”

The reality is that there is very little that can be done for my tumor. It is not curable, medically. But whatever time I have, gives more opportunity for an effective treatment to be discovered. Reality is that God is willing and able to heal this thing completely. I do not understand why He has not done it, but I do not need to. When the time is right, I will receive my healing, in this life or the next. Until then, I choose to glorify God.

I pray that my “suffering” is not for nothing. That in the end, whether the end of my suffering, or the end of my life that I have indeed adjusted my priorities, reset my sights and confessed my sin, that I may glorify God in my mortal body!

Glory in my afflictions

2009-05-13T09:28:00.000-05:00

I have read over and over that God expects us to glory in our afflictions, as Christ did, recognizing that they are divinely appointed that we may become more Christ-like. I do not think I am there yet. I am not sure what the term glory implies, but Webster defines this verb as rejoicing proudly; expressing surprise or delight. The noun is defined as worshipful praise, honor and thanksgiving; a distinguished quality or asset; a state of great gratification or exaltation. I can do the surprise, but not the delight. I can give praise and honor, but not yet thanksgiving. I am not sure I yet agree that cancer is a distinguished quality or asset. Yet I have no problem with gratification and exaltation.

I am grateful that my circumstances are better, not worse. I am thankful that I serve a God who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we think or ask. I am thankful that He is faithful to us even when we are not faithful to Him; that His mercies are available fresh and new each day. So many things I am thankful for, but I cannot yet be thankful for this cancer, although I am thankful for the things God has wrought in my life because of it.

I do recognize that all this has a purpose; that this is no surprise to God, and I find GREAT COMFORT in that. I do not have difficulty trusting His providence, but I do still struggle with trusting that He WILL heal me. I do believe He is able, and that it is His will for my body to be well, but I still believe He sometimes has another purpose for suffering in our lives. I know of several people, personally, who were far more saintly than I, who trusted God with ALL their hearts, and they were not healed, in this life. I know and understand that healing comes when our relationship with God is restored, and that ultimate and complete healing comes when we stand physically in the presence of Almighty God. I do look forward to that but I pray that is later than sooner.
WARNING: This e-mail is a suspected phishing scam.

Great News!!

2009-05-12T16:48:00.001-05:00

GREAT NEWS!! Dr. Dang says my tumor continues to shrink, PRAISE THE LORD!! I will have at least 2 more rounds of chemo by mouth, then they will decide what to do from there, if anything. He will consult with Dr. Edgeworth in Nashville and determine what course of treatment to take if any.

I am so thankful for the advances made in treatment of this tumor, but I give God all the glory. I must confess, I have been more than a little anxious about this report for some reason. So, I am REALLY THANKFUL to get this GOOD REPORT!! Thanks so much from a GRATEFUL HEART to all of you who have prayed and continue to pray for me. This is proof of a God who is compassionate toward us and who is concerned about our infirmities. That is not to say a negative report would make Him any less compassionate or concerned. I am thankful to be serving an all powerful God who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we think or ask. And thank you so much for your cards, calls, inquiries, but most of all your prayers. Please don't stop now!!
WARNING: This e-mail is a suspected phishing scam.

Mother's Day

2009-05-12T15:20:00.001-05:00

I posted this earlier on my blog, but thought it might be fitting to post again in honor of every Mom who reads this, and grandmother too. I used this often when my boys were young to try to help them understand the importance of demonstrating their love. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not!! Hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day as did I!!

I LOVE YOU, MOTHER, by Joy Allison

"I love you, mother," said little John;Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on,And he was off to the garden swing,Leaving his mother the wood to bring.I love you, mother," said little Nell,"I love you more than tongue can tell."Then she teased and pouted half the dayTill her mother rejoiced when she went to play."I love you, mother," said little Fan."Today I'll help you all I can."To the cradle then she did softly creepAnd rocked the baby till it fell asleep.Then stepping softly she took the broomAnd swept the floor and dusted the room.Busy and happy all day was she,Helpful and cheerful as a child should be."I love you, mother," again they said,Three little children going to bed.How do you think the mother guessed,Which of them really loved her best?

The worst thing and the best thing.

2009-05-11T06:13:00.000-05:00

Elizabeth Elliott, in her book, A path through suffering, writes, "The cross is the place where the worst thing that could happen, happened. It is also the place where the best thing that could happen happened. Ultimate hatred and ultimate love met on those two crosspieces of wood. Suffering and love were brought into harmony.
It was while we were still powerless to help ourselves that Jesus died for us...'we shall be saved through Him from final retribution' (Rom. 6:7).
To be "saved" requires a severance from the former life as clean and sharp as though made by a knife. There must be a wall of separation between the old life and the new, a radical break. That means death--death to the old life, in order for the new to begin. 'We know that the man we once were has been crucified with Christ, for the destruction of the sinful self, so that we may no longer be the slaves of sin, since a dead man is no longer answerable for his sin' (Rom. 6:6-7)
This wall of separation, this barrier, is the cross"...We are saved by Grace. "that is a gift, a free gift, from God. Amazing. Simply amazing that the Lord of the Universe, the One who is 'the ruler over all authorities and the supreme head over all powers' (Col. 2:10), 'the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings and the master of all masters, the only source of immortality, the One who lives in unapproachable light, the One whom no mortal eye has ever seen, or ever can see' (1Tim. 6:15-16, JBP)--amazing that the same One bends His ear to the prayer of a child or of a sinner of any age, and if asked, comes in a makes His home with us. For His name is Immanuel, God with us.
How shall He be at home with us unless our lives are in harmony with His holy life? Unless He lives His very life in us and we live our lives 'in company with Him'? Salvation means rescue from the pit of destruction, from the miry clay of ourselves.
So my decision to receive Him, although made only once, I must affirm in thousands of ways, through thousands of choices for the rest of my life--my will or His, my life (the old one) or His, (the new one). It is no to myself and yes to Him. This continual affirmation is usually made in small things, inconveniences, unselfish giving up of preferences, yielding gracefully to the wishes of others without playing the martyr, learning to close doors quietly and turn the volume down on the music we'd love to play loudly--sufferings they may be, but only small-sized ones. We may think of them as little 'deaths.'
Many who come to Christ have a long, sinful, destructive past. The 'layer of separation,' the cross, stands now between us and our past. We have to make up our minds to part company with it, not by struggle, but by an honest act of renouncing it in the name of Christ. Sin no longer holds authority, 'exacting obedience to the body's desires. You must no longer put its several parts at sin's disposal, as implements of doing wrong. No: put yourselves at the disposal of God, as dead men raised to life; yield your bodies to him as implements for doing right; for sin shall no longer be your master, because you are no longer under the law, but under the grace of God' Rom. 6:12-14).
When Satan the accuser scorns that act of renunciation later and taunts--'Hypocrite! You didn't mean it! You never really put yourself at His disposal or parted company with us at all!'--run to the foot of the cross, our safe shelter and abiding place.
The further we travel on this pathway to glory the more glorious it becomes, because we are given to understand that every glad surrender of self, which to the young Christian may seem such a morbid an odious thing, is merely a little death, like the tree's 'loss' of the dead leaf, in order that a fresh new one may, in God's time, take its place."
If I could have gleaned these truths as a young person, I wonder how different my path might have been. As it is, I have made my choices, some good, some not so good. One thing for sure, we cannot undo what has been done, but from this point on, I will choose to submit to God's instruction and correction in my life. It is my prayer that my dead leaves, will give place to the new ones God desires to grow in my life. And that He will "teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and with firm conviction that His will governs all."

I am going to the doctor Tues for follow-up on my MRI. Please agree with me in prayer that I will continue to get a "good report."

Blessed inconvenience

2009-05-07T13:55:00.001-05:00

I have said before that I am thankful that I have not really suffered, pain or illness with my tumor. This passage pretty well describes what my experience has been so for, an inconvenience, for me and for my family. My condition has certainly put a strain on those who depend on my help, to say the least. It has been difficult for me because I cannot do the things I am usually accustomed to. I am anxious about things I never worried about before this happened. In that respect, I am suffering!

But I am also learning to trust God on a daily basis as I have never trusted Him before: for such things as energy to finish the tasks before me; or peace in the midst of turmoil; for purpose in my life on a daily basis; and for Him to use this circumstance for my good and His glory. I have had several really bad days, but praise God! I am feeling like a new woman today—well, maybe not new, but gently used! J

“We may take heart from the suffering of Job. Suffering was the necessary proof of the reality of his faith—to us, as his contemporaries and his enemy Satan (his and ours). The suffering of our Savior proved the reality of His love for His Father. The world still needs to be shown that there are those who, no matter what the circumstances, will, for love of Him, do exactly what God commands.

When we surrender ourselves to the Lord, learning day by day to treat all that comes to us with peace of soul and firm conviction that His will governs all, (I pray that this will be my daily surrender to Him), He will see our growth in grace. He will so govern the events in our lives as to provide for us the conditions which may make us fruitful. It is not for our sake but for the sake of others. The beauty of the flower is not for itself. It offers itself to God’s sunshine and rain, gives its fragrance to any who pass by, but it must wither and die before the fruit can be produced.

Faith need never ask, ‘But what good did this do me?’ Faith already knows that everything that happens fits into a pattern for good to those who love God. An inconvenience is always, whether we see it or not, a blessed inconvenience. We may rest in the promise that God is fitting together a good many more things than are any of our business. We need never see ‘what good it did,’ or how a given trouble accomplishes anything. It is peace to leave it all with Him, asking only that He do with me anything He wants, anywhere, anytime, that God may be glorified.”

I pray that this prayer will become a reality in my life. I am afraid it is easier to give lip service that it is to walk this out in faith.

Spiritual Pruning

2009-05-03T19:34:00.000-05:00

In reading more of Elizabeth Elliot's book, A path through suffering, I feel compelled to share these excerpts.
"Suffering is never senseless. There is plenty of good sense in the metaphor of pruning found in the Gospel of John.
The life of the vine is the life of the branch. As long as the branch remains in the vine it is nourished. Cut off, it dies. ' Apart from Me you can do nothing.' In the spiritual realm there is no other life but Christ's. In Him we live. Without Him we die.
Vines must be pruned to bear the best fruit. Perfectly good branches are cut off in order for better ones to develop. The life of the vine is strengthened in one part by another part's being cut away. Pruning increases yield. So it is with our spiritual life.
God is the Gardner, the One who takes care of the vines. The hand of the Gardener holds the knife. It is His glory that is at stake when the best grapes are produced, so we need not think He has something personal against us, or has left us wholly to the mercy of Satan. He is always and forever for us.
'Those who receive...God's grace, and His gift of righteousness, live and reign through the one man, Jesus Christ' (Rom. 5:17) The branches live and reign through the Vine.
The pruning process comes hard to human flesh and blood. Yet the hardness is softened, as we concentrate on the truth the Lord has given us: 'If you dwell in me and my words dwell in you, ask what you will, and you shall have it. This is my Father's glory, that you may bear fruit in plenty and so be my disciples. If you heed my commands, you will dwell in my love, as I have heeded my Father's commands and dwell in his love. 'Pruning leads to joy.' I have spoken thus to you so that my joy may be in you and your joy complete.' (Jn. 15:7-11)
We can look at our experiences in the light of the Lord Jesus who 'learned obedience,' not by the things He enjoyed, but by the things He suffered. His single aim was to glorify His Father, and He did just that, every moment of His life. He accepted suffering. He willingly laid down His life. He poured out His very soul unto death. Shall not we, His servants, tread the same pathway? To 'abide in the Vine' is to live our lives in Christ, living each event, as Christ lived, in the peace of the Father's will."
I pray that I will be able to do just that. I pray this prayer that Lancelot Andrews prayed in the seventeenth century, 'Direct my life towards Thy commandments, hallow my soul, purify my body, correct my thoughts, cleanse my desires, soul and body, mind and spirit, heart and reins. Renew me thoroughly, O Lord, for if Thou wilt Thou canst'."

Life out of death

2009-04-29T22:34:00.000-05:00

I have had a few bad days this week. I don't really know what is going on, not anything I can really put my finger on. But , Praise God! I am feeling better today. Hopefully it has just been and emotional slump!
At some point in my past someone (probably a teacher) once said, "It is presumptuous to write or speak. You must first assume that you have something worth saying. Secondly, that it is worthy of someone else's attention." I hope that is the case with what I am about to share, although they are not my original words or ideas.
Elisabeth Elliott writes that solace can be found in the spiritual lessons of nature's cycle of life and death. Jn. 12:24 says that, "Except a grain of wheat fall to the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die it bringeth forth much fruit." We cannot avoid the death and still be fruitful. The harvest of wheat from the solitary grain is "the gospel, the Good News of life out of death, a gospel for every individual, every need, every hopeless and helpless situation."
The God of Israel (who delivered them from destruction between the chariots of Egypt and the Red Sea), is our God too. "He looks down on us with love and says, 'Nothing has happened to you which is not common to all. I can manage it, Trust Me.'
He wants to transform every human suffering into something glorious. He can redeem it. He can bring life out of death. Every event of our lives provides opportunity to learn the deepest lesson anyone can learn on earth, 'My present life is not that of the old I, but the living Christ within me' (Gal 2:20, JBP) When our souls lie barren in winter which seems hopeless and endless, God has not abandoned us. His work goes on. He asks our acceptance of the painful process and our trust that He will indeed give resurrection life."
I pray that somehow I will be able to trust God. That life will be resurrected in me, not for my glory, but for the glory of God. I know that I already have eternal life, because of Christ's death for me. I have NO PROBLEM trusting God for my salvation but healing seems to be a different story. I pray that I will be able to thrust Him restore my physical life, because of the suffering He endured, that I may complete what He has called me to do.

A Path through suffering

2009-04-19T20:09:00.002-05:00

I have been reading Elisabeth Elliot's, A Path through suffering.
In contemplating this title, I notice that it says through. I am encouraged to believe that there will be an end to this, that I will eventually get to the other side. The subtitle of this book is "Discovering the relationship between God's mercy and our pain,"--a fitting comment that helps me understand there is a purpose behind the things we endure. This seems more that a little contradiction, since we so often equate God's mercy with absence of pain or suffering. When we think about it, how could we expect to escape some measure of pain and suffering when God not only allowed His precious son to suffer physical pain, humiliation, and most certainly emotional and spiritual pain on the cross, but He ordained it. God loved Him, and He loves us, enough that He allows these painful circumstances to interrupt our lives in order to bring us to the place He wants us to be, totally surrendered to Him.
In her book, Elisabeth Elliot says in the Christian's life there is "a life-out-of-death principle. Death is the only way out of any world in which we are. The newborn baby dies a death to the safe, warm life of the womb. The reborn Christian forsakes the old life, 'dies' to it, and receives the life of Christ in its place. The surrender of one's will--what could be more certainly a death? But it is the condition of receiving God's will, God's life, God's joy...We must learn what death is about--death to ourselves--and to take up the cross, that is, willingly accept the will of God which went so strongly against the grain of my own. It is not easy. Jesus never suggested that it would be...The cross means suffering. Suffering's meaning is to be learned through the cross."
I am not there yet, but I am working on it. I continue to trust God for my healing, OR not my healing as He sees fit. I want to be healed. I believe it is His will for my body to be well. But I know He has a purpose in what I am experiencing now. Either way, I trust His providence. I have so much to be thankful for. I am NOT in a lot of pain. I believe He has used these circumstances to draw me closer to Him. Although I am not to the point I can thank Him for this tumor, I do thank Him for what has been wrought in my life because of it.

Latest news

2009-04-17T09:37:00.001-05:00

I had an appointment with the chemo doctor this week. I saw his PA, Michelle, a wonderful Godly woman who is a great encouragement. She trained to work in the emergency room, but when she finished her training, there was no position available for her, so she went to work for Dr. Dang. When the ER position became available she said she just could not leave all those wonderful people. One more proof that God has a plan.
Michele gave me a good report, although they have nothing new to base that on. I seem to be maintaing my progress. I have another MRI scheduled May 8.
My sister-in-love (my youngest brother, Phil's wife) shared a book with me called A Path through suffering by Elizabeth Elliott. She was a missionary to China and suffered much at the hands of unbelievers, including the death of her husband early in their marriage.
She says about suffering,"Repeatedly throughout our lives we encounter the roadblock of suffering. What do we do with it? Our answer will determine what we can say to another who needs comfort...I know of no answer to give to anyone except the answer given to all the world in the cross. It was there that the great Grain of Wheat died--not that death shoud be the end of the story, but that it should be the beginning of the story, as it is in all the cycles of nature. The grain dies. The harvest results. The sun must die in the west if it is to rise in the east. The crimson touch must be found even in the fresh shoots of the baby oak--they are destined for death.
It is a long road to understanding the love of God in and through our own suffering. (We must) go to the proof to Jesus' love, the cross, which towers over all the 'wrecks of time,' stands stark and irrefutable against all the tragedy of the world. Jesus really does love us. We can be absolutely sure about that because Jesus died for us."
This message is such a comfort to me. I want God to heal me, I believe He is able I believe it is His will for my body to be healthy. I do not understand why I have not received the healing I desire, but I am confident that all things are in His hand. I trust Him completely to bring about those things in my life that will be pleasing to Him. So wherever He leads me I choose to follow!
P.S. Please pray for my bother Phil. He is on his way to Denver, Col. for some treatment for asthma and a fungus in his lungs. He has had a terrible time this winter, His family really needs him, so please pray that this procedure will be successful and will bring healing to his body.

Comfort Ye

2009-04-08T21:43:00.000-05:00

Comfort ye

I have been earnestly praying for God to heal me, that His name will be glorified in my life. That is what I really want, but I have come to realize that His name can also be glorified by my response to this trial in my life. Whether or not God heals me, His name WILL BE glorified. Whether or not He heals me does not change who God is or what He is willing or able to do.

2 Cor. 1:3-4 tells us that God is "the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles, SO that WE can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." Scottie and Chuck Alley comment in a book called Treasures of darkness, a devotional for those whose lives have been touched by cancer, that this is "just the kind of God who can step into our lives and take an evil like cancer and redeem it for the good of His people. This same God is the Father of Jesus Christ. He took the cross and turned it from a symbol of torture and death into the symbol of healing and life. He is the God who can take our pain and our suffering and redeem it for the good of His people.

One of the best ways to deal with one's pain is to focus on the presence of God and the needs of others. As we focus on God, He helps us to see our experience from an eternal perspective and equips us to minister to others who are going through similar experiences. Human beings give great authority to the voice of experience.

When we turn to God in our trials, we are afforded the privilege of ministering to our neighbors and glorifying God at the same time."

I cannot say that I am happy about being that voice of experience. I don't believe I have reached the level that I can say with Paul that I glory in my affliction, but I do KNOW that I serve a compassionate God who is ever concerned about my "infirmities," and that nothing is impossible for Him!

Getting started

2009-03-29T21:36:00.001-05:00

As promised previously, here is the 2nd installment of dealing with your troubles. These excerpts come from a little book (pamphlet, really) that I picked up at Wal-Mart. I really believe that God placed this little book in my path. It has been such encouragement to me. The title of the booklet is Comfort for Troubled Christians by J.C. Brumfield. It is published by Moody Publishers and distributed by Choice Books (info@choicebooks.org). I believe this was an ordained encounter, because I rarely ever take time to browse for things like this at Wal-Mart. I generally know exactly what I am going for and I get in and get out. There just happened to be a small display directly in my path and this little book just happened to be at eye level and there just happened to be only one copy!!

Gordon says I just love to read…to him!! At the risk of doing the same thing to those of you who are accessing my blog, I hope you will indulge me and that some of these gems of wisdom will encourage you as they have me.

Yesterday I shared a segment titled “What to do with your troubles,” Today I would like to share “Getting started.”

Acts 27:2 says, “We launched.”
“Paul’s consuming passion for years had been to preach the gospel in Rome. Under the providence of God he was arrested, tried and convicted and appealed to Caesar.

It was not a mistake Paul was on his way to Rome with Caesar paying the fare. The centurion, Julius was given charge of the prisoners.

‘We launched’ meant that they committed themselves unto the sea. First, ‘It was determined that we should sail,’ verse 1. They made up their minds to go, then started. They would not have arrived in Rome if they had not ‘launched.’ Dreams, visions, desires, and resolutions have their place, but what we need is faith to launch.

Some people never accomplish anything because they never start. Others are so afraid of making a mistake they never do anything. I would rather do something wrong than to do nothing; I could at least learn something from the mistake.

There are thousands of Christians who honestly desire to do something for Christ, but they never accomplish it because they never get started. Good intentions are not enough. Begin—launch—start!”