This was sent to me by a dear sister in the Lord. I have never lost a child, but I know this is where I am right now--"in the safest yet scariest place I could be."
It is a group of Christian women who have recently lost babies to the same chromosonal condition. Most of them are from Vanderbilt and are amazing in the ability to share what God is doing in their lives. I've never lost a baby and have no earthly idea of the depths that can
take you, but I've learned alot from their open hearts. This is just one example:
Our pastor often says that we as Christians live in the safest and scariest place we could possibly live: the hand of God. Nothing can harm us here. No one and nothing can snatch us from the strong hand of our Father. But Our Father fears nothing. He might choose to carry us through hell and high water. He might let us feel the heat of flames that would burn us alive.
He might let us see things, though the cracks between His fingers, that we never wanted to see and that steal the very breath from our lungs just to recall, but He will never let us fall. We may find ourselves reading promises in His Word and wondering how they could possibly apply, when we do feel as if we have been forsaken. We do feel as if we have caught our heels on a terribly sharp stone. But the reality is that our God has never promised to protect this earthly body, this
tent that temporarily houses our eternal souls. He didn't say we would never get sick. He didn't say we would always be able to pay the bills. He didn't say we would have friends that would understand. He didn't say our marriages would be easy. He didn't say life would not
hurt. He didn't even say our children would live.
He said we could trust him with all our hearts and that He would make the path toward home straight. He said He has hope and a future for us, but He didn't say that future would come tomorrow. He said He would give us beauty for ashes and turn our mourning into dancing, but
He never said the transformation would happen overnight. Every step of the way, He said He would be with us. When we cannot see Him, when we cannot understand or even accept His ways, when we wonder if we have been forsaken, we can remember that He promised to never leave us. We are never alone. Nothing happens to us of which He is unaware. Every
moment of every day, our Lord is fully aware of every joy and every pain in every corner of the world. We cannot begin to fathom His love for us.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me
that you also may be where I am."
John 14:1-3
I will not let my heart be troubled. I will guard it as the wellspring of life that it is. Satan will not win this battle. He roams this earth like a thief in the night. He sees our vulnerable places and
goes in for the attack. A person is never more broken than when they are in the throes of grief. I will yet strap on the armor of God. I will turn my ear toward My Shepherd's voice once more. I will choose to remember the beauty of this week last year. I will choose to be thankful for all that we were given and to trust Him with all that was taken away. Miller Grace was always God's baby... as are her sisters... as are the children we have yet to meet... as are we. He will take care of us as surely as He cares for her tonight. Instead of growing bitter over what I missed, I will be grateful for all that I received, but was so unworthy of. Tonight, my girl rests in the room my Jesus went to prepare for her so long ago. I believe with all my heart that there is a place there for me, in her very room, that awaits. Until I can go where she is, until I can run my fingers
over the wounds my Jesus bears as a symbol of the price He paid to give me the hope of a reunion with my Him and with my girl and as a sweet retreat from this battle, I will keep standing back up. I will be still and know that it is the Mighty Warrior who is is fighting
this battle for me, even now. I am weak. He is strong. And when I cannot walk, His grace will carry me.
No comments:
Post a Comment