Praise the Lord for another GOOD REPORT!! I saw Dr. Dang today. He said the MRI still looks good. He consulted with Dr. Edgeworth in Nashville, who did my surgery. They have recommended that I continue the Temodar (oral chemo) 5 days out of the month. I am trying to be happy about that (:-). It seems like such a small concern in the grand scheme of things, but in trying to be transparent about my life, I'll have to say I am not looking forward to it. I AM thankful that there is something I can do, but I also know that God can do more, AND I am trusting that He will do just that. I believe He helps those who help themselves as well, and I think it would be foolish of me to ditch this treatment, when it seems to be helping. I do believe that one of God's gifts is the healing hands of the medical profession, and I pray for them every week. My eyes have really been opened to the load they bear since all of this has happened to us.
I shared earlier that I have had a few "bad" days recently, probably more emotional than physical, especially since I got such a good report today. I want God to heal me. I do not understand why He has not. I am searching my soul to see if there is something on my part that is hindering this process. I will have to say that one good thing from all of this is that I have recognized my need for a more intimate relationship with Him. I cannot imagine facing this without God's help.
In some of my previous blogs I have shared some excerpts from Elizabeth Elliot's A path through suffering. She discusses how adversity affects our lives. We can let the winds of adversity wreck our lives, or we can come to the "Peace speaker" and endure the storm, KNOWING that He is in control of every element in our lives, if we allow it.
I have learned that adversity comes when we least expect it. I have never been sick in my life. I do not know how to be a patient, and I am afraid I am not a very good one. I was "rocking along" enjoying the comforts of a nice home, a loving husband, 2 sons who have given me relatively little trouble growing up and brought me 2 wonderful daughters-in-love, and 3 beautiful, adorable grandchildren. Life was good. I was "serving the Lord," I thought to the best of my ability, when WHAM. Out of the clear blue, comes this brain tumor. Not just any old brain tumor, but a very aggressive one, AND in a spot that is very difficult to treat! None of this was a surprise to God! He knew ALL ABOUT IT!! He has been faithful to carry me through so far, and I believe He is able to "keep that which I have committed to Him."
I had a little incident that happened last week that reminded me of God's faithfulness even in the small things of our lives. We had a wind storm that littered the patio and driveway with leaves and twigs. I was trying clean it up with a blower. Every time I would get an area clean, the wind would blow the debris back onto the clean part. I just sat the blower down and asked God to still the wind until I could get the work done. The wind obeyed, not me, but Him! It took me about 30 min. to finish my work. Then I sat down in the same spot and enjoyed my clean patio and the breeze that God restored. What first brought adversity, later brought pleasure.
I cannot imagine what pleasure this adversity will bring in my life, but I am convinced that somehow it will. If not in this life, certainly the one to come. I have had the pleasure of seeing people's care and concern. I have had the pleasure of being ministered to spiritually by sisters and brothers in the Lord. I have had the pleasure of being reminded that my husband and family loves me dearly. How could one person be so blessed?
God has spoken to me audibly only once in my life, but He has impressed some pretty profound truths into my spirit. He dropped this into my spirit after a morning of intense (for me) labor, cleaning up after a storm. He will do the same for us if we will let Him--clean up after the storm!
Please continue to pray for Gordon. He is having a VERY DIFFICULT time, especially with continued pain after his surgery. Pray for God to have His way in his life.
Thank you so much for your continued prayers and concern for me. I could not make it through without the Lord and wonderful friends like you.
Dear Annalie, Praise the Lord for your good report! You are such a miracle! Please forgive me for not remembering to check your blog more often. I just seem to get busy with every day things and forget to see how one of God's great miracles is doing. :) You have written some thought provoking messages in your blog entries that I look on as being wonderful devotionals. I especially loved the one about the Martins (no pun intended) and how it relates to us and our dwelling with our Heavenly Father. Keep on writing because you are touching many hearts and souls with your words and experiences.
ReplyDeleteI believe that Debbie Kidd got a good report earlier this summer that her tumor is shrinking. Barbara Davis is still on IV chemo one day a week for three weeks/off a week. Don't know how long that will last yet.