Fear vs Faith

I am so sorry I have not posted anything for awhile. I have wanted to, but just have not found the time. Had a wonderful cruise with my three friends from church (minus one--she has claustrophobia and could not tolerate the confines of our cabin.) We had wonderful fellowship with her before and after the cruise. It was really a nice trip and it was nice to have no agenda for a few days. I really missed my babies, though.
Have had a few days that I have not really felt great. Don't know exactly what is going on. I hope it is simply fatigue. I feel better today than I have all week, but also started my last round of chemo today. I will be glad to finish with that, although it has not really been terribly bad. Things could certainly be worse.
I shared with you on my last blog the wonderful blessing a friend of mine gave me. I have another friend who also spoke into my life, that I have a "spirit of fear". I am afraid she is right because I have really been struggling lately with anxiety about things I have never worried about before now.
I realize that fear is the opposite of faith. I always felt like I had faith, and I have about most things. It somehow seems different, when you face the possibility of mortality square in the eye.
I do believe God. I believe every blessing that Kathy pronounced upon my life. I believe He is willing and able to heal me, but there are thoughts that haunt me in the dark hours of the night, that I KNOW I have no control over. Only God can deliver me from this anxiety, and I am trying my best to place myself in obedience to Him (to seek Him), so He can do whatever He will with my life.
AND THOSE WHO KNOW THY NAME WILL PUT THEIR TRUST IN THEE; FOR THOU, O LORD, HAST NOT FORSAKEN THOSE WHO SEEK THEE. PSALM 9:10
Psalm 33: 18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, 19 to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. 20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. 21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.
The following passage of scripture has become my mainstay. Psalm 91:5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. 9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge-10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. 11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; 12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
These promises are so encouraging, reminding me that God is concerned about every area of my life. But they come with some conditions. We must DWELL in the Most High. Dwell means "to live as a resident; to keep the attention directed." We cannot expect this kind of protection and provision if we only stop by to see God once in awhile. We must make Him our dwelling place. We must acknowledge who God is. Acknowledge means "to recognize the rights, authority, and status of." This implies the necessity of submission. We cannot expect this kind of protection and provision unless we are willing to submit to God's authority in our life.
Do you think it might just be coincidence that this was posted on a devotional site I looked at today?
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:2-8
I pray that God will truly be my DWELLING place, that I recognize His authority in my life, and that I will face these trials with perseverance, so that God's purpose will be fulfilled in my life.
Please pray for a young friend of ours, Tara Hogan, who has the same kind of tumor I do. She was diagnosed with this 4 years ago and has done really well until recently. The tumor has grown and they are going to perform a very tedious surgery in Birmingham on Tues. Please pray that God will be with her, with the physicians, and give her favor in this surgery, and that it will be successful. She is 27 years old, and does not have a very encouraging network of family support.

Above all I want to allow God to teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and with firm conviction that His will governs all.