Glory in my afflictions

I have read over and over that God expects us to glory in our afflictions, as Christ did, recognizing that they are divinely appointed that we may become more Christ-like. I do not think I am there yet. I am not sure what the term glory implies, but Webster defines this verb as rejoicing proudly; expressing surprise or delight. The noun is defined as worshipful praise, honor and thanksgiving; a distinguished quality or asset; a state of great gratification or exaltation. I can do the surprise, but not the delight. I can give praise and honor, but not yet thanksgiving. I am not sure I yet agree that cancer is a distinguished quality or asset. Yet I have no problem with gratification and exaltation.

I am grateful that my circumstances are better, not worse. I am thankful that I serve a God who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we think or ask. I am thankful that He is faithful to us even when we are not faithful to Him; that His mercies are available fresh and new each day. So many things I am thankful for, but I cannot yet be thankful for this cancer, although I am thankful for the things God has wrought in my life because of it.

I do recognize that all this has a purpose; that this is no surprise to God, and I find GREAT COMFORT in that. I do not have difficulty trusting His providence, but I do still struggle with trusting that He WILL heal me. I do believe He is able, and that it is His will for my body to be well, but I still believe He sometimes has another purpose for suffering in our lives. I know of several people, personally, who were far more saintly than I, who trusted God with ALL their hearts, and they were not healed, in this life. I know and understand that healing comes when our relationship with God is restored, and that ultimate and complete healing comes when we stand physically in the presence of Almighty God. I do look forward to that but I pray that is later than sooner.
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